I turn 40 years old in August. 40!!!!!! That's half of 80 and twice as much as 20. When I was a kid, I looked at 40 year olds as uhhhh sort of old.
I actually don't have issues with turning 40. The problem I do have though is I feel very tired. We just got our little league pictures back yesterday and I even look tired. What is up with that? I just don't feel as good as I wish I did and I'm not sure how to get there.
I think one major factor is stress. It's scientifically documented that stress is bad. Bad on many levels. Stress increases cortisol production, stress raises your blood pressure, and stress makes you tired!! I'm one of those people who feels bored without some sort of stress. What I need to do is learn how to deal with it in a more affective and efficient way. At the moment I don't have any answers. Sure, I can do all the recommended things such as exercise, yoga, meditation, prayer, etc, but right now finding or should I say making time for that is very difficult.
It's only Tuesday, and today I feel whipped. My shoulders are killing me from throwing so much, my back hurts from who knows what, I've got major stomach issues, we have a ton going on at work and I'm doing my best to coach two baseball teams. It's very frustrating for me when I don't feel at the top of my game. I want to coach with as much positive energy as I can. I want to run my company and work with our patients in the most positive way possible, yet I struggle just to find the energy to do any of it.
I told my wife yesterday that our family motto is gonna be 2C57. Better known as 2nd Corinthians 5:7. Walk by faith, not by sight. This is something I'm trying to work harder on. Lately I feel like my faith or my focus on God has been put on the back burner. This is not acceptable if I want to be 100% devoted to what I'm doing or what I want to do.
I like to have a plan and right now I don't have one. I really don't even know where to start. Baby steps I guess. So today, I'm going to try and work on a plan. Life is way too short to be stressful and unorganized. Life is way to short not to live every minute to the fullest. Sure, we can say that work and everything else gets in the way, but I'm determined to change the way I deal with all this.
I'll share my plan as soon as I come up with one. Maybe then I'll feel a little more accountable to stick to it. I'll be honest as well with my progress. With that said, I have to get my butt in gear. After all, it's only Tuesday:)
Have a great Super Day.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Monday, May 16, 2011
Hola!! It's Monday
I guess it's about time that I update this thing. I had wanted to leave the last post about Ronan up for a little while just so everyone would be informed. His funeral was yesterday and it sounds like everything was just as the family had planned.
As it seems Maya is doing, I don't think we are expected to live in sorrow for the bad things that happen. In Ronan's case, I believe it's up to us to celebrate his short little life. We can ask "why" all day long and never come up with any honest answers. As heartless or cruel as it may sound, life must move forward. This is easy for me to say when I'm not the one who just lost my little boy. It's up to me to learn from Ronan and cherish every second of everyday with my family.
Life is not easy. I don't think God designed things to be this way. I believe that over time, we have created this problem for ourselves. Look at the last 10-15 years. Have cell phones and technology made our lives better? In some ways, sure it has. In many more ways though, I think it has caused us to have this huge sense of false comfort per se. How do video games improve the lives of our kids? Cell phones are super convenient, but I'm a prime example of allowing texting to take priority over just talking to a friend. Heck my mom lives a acre away from me, yet I will send her a text to see how she is doing. Are you kidding me!!!!!
My boys and I were watching the movie Sandlot. So far this summer, I'm sure we have watched it 10 times. Coby says to me, "Dad, how come life seemed so simple then?" I told him I agree and I too thought life was much simpler then. Those kids didn't have computers, video games, phones, etc. They had each other and they had baseball. They spent their summer at the Sandlot. They were free to roam the town, create trouble, but instead they played baseball. Their parents didn't have to worry where they were. Abductions, drugs, etc. were not even close to being a concern.
I was fortunate to have the same kind of Lot next to my house growing up. The weeds were high, but we made due. Today, there are two houses on that lot and not an empty lot anywhere in the neighborhood. My kids play wiffle ball in the front yard or in the street, but they don't have the "luxury" of walking around the neighborhood to find a bigger lot to play on.
Ok I'm rambling.......... Why do things have to be so much more difficult? What are the answers? I think in part, we have to change our priorities. Family Family Family!!!!! I myself am guilty of abusing my time with my family. I'm working on changing that. I don't want to lose touch with my oldest son or any of my kids for that matter when they hit their teenage years. I see it all the time and I'm not going to let it happen.
My wife went to Prescott with her parents this weekend while I stayed home with my three boys. Saturday morning, we got up, ate some breakfast, then headed out the door to watch some little league games. What a gorgeous day. My two year old Keevan loves to play ball. He ran around all afternoon on the outfield grass just chasing baseballs and saying Strike One!!! :) Coby and I played catch while Ryan did some announcing up in the booth. What better way to spend an afternoon!!
Coby, you have to realize, lives to play ball. As soon as we got home, he asked if I would pitch some wiffle balls to him. So, sore shoulder and all, we spent the next 90 minutes hitting wiffle balls. For an 8 year old, this little guy can swing the bat. He couldn't get enough, but it was getting dark so we called it a night. I was exhausted. I had been in Phoenix the day before and didn't get home until 2am. Still though, we all sat on my bed and watched Sandlot (yes, again) until 11pm. I'm not sure how much of the movie everyone saw because when I looked around, everyone was fast a sleep.
Sunday morning was spent doing laundry and picking up the house. Ryan my oldest had homework which included making a clay model of the human heart. Being that I have a degree in human physiology, this was right up my alley. So for the next couple of hours, in the middle of laundry loads, we built the human heart. Mind you we didn't finish till 11pm as we busied ourselves with other "more fun" chores.
Ever since we put the addition on house (still unfinished), Ryan has been sleeping on a mattress on his floor. So I got the wild idea of going to get him a bed. My awesome mom came over and watched the younger boys while Ryan and I headed to Big Lots to look for a bed. We ended up with this cool looking Sleigh Bed (I guess it's cool, but who am I). It took three of us to put it together but once we were done, I have to say, it's looked pretty damn good. Ryan wanted to move stuff around in his room so we spent the next couple of hours doing that. It looks so much better. I really enjoyed the time doing it.
I had been promising Coby that I would throw to him before it got dark, so we rounded up the wiffle balls and headed out the door. Little Keev put on his batting helmut and threw some as well. It was a great way to end a great weekend.
I'm practicing with my Minor League team tonight at four then have to coach a Major game at 7. Typically I'm pretty burned out by now, but I'm really starting to have fun again and it feels damn good. Work is going well, everyone seems to be on the same page finally so things are good.
I'm sure there will be obstacles this week, but I'm determined only to step over them. I'm done with the pouting and whining. What good does it do anyway?
Hope you all have a great day.
As it seems Maya is doing, I don't think we are expected to live in sorrow for the bad things that happen. In Ronan's case, I believe it's up to us to celebrate his short little life. We can ask "why" all day long and never come up with any honest answers. As heartless or cruel as it may sound, life must move forward. This is easy for me to say when I'm not the one who just lost my little boy. It's up to me to learn from Ronan and cherish every second of everyday with my family.
Life is not easy. I don't think God designed things to be this way. I believe that over time, we have created this problem for ourselves. Look at the last 10-15 years. Have cell phones and technology made our lives better? In some ways, sure it has. In many more ways though, I think it has caused us to have this huge sense of false comfort per se. How do video games improve the lives of our kids? Cell phones are super convenient, but I'm a prime example of allowing texting to take priority over just talking to a friend. Heck my mom lives a acre away from me, yet I will send her a text to see how she is doing. Are you kidding me!!!!!
My boys and I were watching the movie Sandlot. So far this summer, I'm sure we have watched it 10 times. Coby says to me, "Dad, how come life seemed so simple then?" I told him I agree and I too thought life was much simpler then. Those kids didn't have computers, video games, phones, etc. They had each other and they had baseball. They spent their summer at the Sandlot. They were free to roam the town, create trouble, but instead they played baseball. Their parents didn't have to worry where they were. Abductions, drugs, etc. were not even close to being a concern.
I was fortunate to have the same kind of Lot next to my house growing up. The weeds were high, but we made due. Today, there are two houses on that lot and not an empty lot anywhere in the neighborhood. My kids play wiffle ball in the front yard or in the street, but they don't have the "luxury" of walking around the neighborhood to find a bigger lot to play on.
Ok I'm rambling.......... Why do things have to be so much more difficult? What are the answers? I think in part, we have to change our priorities. Family Family Family!!!!! I myself am guilty of abusing my time with my family. I'm working on changing that. I don't want to lose touch with my oldest son or any of my kids for that matter when they hit their teenage years. I see it all the time and I'm not going to let it happen.
My wife went to Prescott with her parents this weekend while I stayed home with my three boys. Saturday morning, we got up, ate some breakfast, then headed out the door to watch some little league games. What a gorgeous day. My two year old Keevan loves to play ball. He ran around all afternoon on the outfield grass just chasing baseballs and saying Strike One!!! :) Coby and I played catch while Ryan did some announcing up in the booth. What better way to spend an afternoon!!
Coby, you have to realize, lives to play ball. As soon as we got home, he asked if I would pitch some wiffle balls to him. So, sore shoulder and all, we spent the next 90 minutes hitting wiffle balls. For an 8 year old, this little guy can swing the bat. He couldn't get enough, but it was getting dark so we called it a night. I was exhausted. I had been in Phoenix the day before and didn't get home until 2am. Still though, we all sat on my bed and watched Sandlot (yes, again) until 11pm. I'm not sure how much of the movie everyone saw because when I looked around, everyone was fast a sleep.
Sunday morning was spent doing laundry and picking up the house. Ryan my oldest had homework which included making a clay model of the human heart. Being that I have a degree in human physiology, this was right up my alley. So for the next couple of hours, in the middle of laundry loads, we built the human heart. Mind you we didn't finish till 11pm as we busied ourselves with other "more fun" chores.
Ever since we put the addition on house (still unfinished), Ryan has been sleeping on a mattress on his floor. So I got the wild idea of going to get him a bed. My awesome mom came over and watched the younger boys while Ryan and I headed to Big Lots to look for a bed. We ended up with this cool looking Sleigh Bed (I guess it's cool, but who am I). It took three of us to put it together but once we were done, I have to say, it's looked pretty damn good. Ryan wanted to move stuff around in his room so we spent the next couple of hours doing that. It looks so much better. I really enjoyed the time doing it.
I had been promising Coby that I would throw to him before it got dark, so we rounded up the wiffle balls and headed out the door. Little Keev put on his batting helmut and threw some as well. It was a great way to end a great weekend.
I'm practicing with my Minor League team tonight at four then have to coach a Major game at 7. Typically I'm pretty burned out by now, but I'm really starting to have fun again and it feels damn good. Work is going well, everyone seems to be on the same page finally so things are good.
I'm sure there will be obstacles this week, but I'm determined only to step over them. I'm done with the pouting and whining. What good does it do anyway?
Hope you all have a great day.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Perspective
I was going to post something today about my awesome 60 mile ride on Saturday and how beautiful Hawley Lake is this time of year. I want to talk about riding but it's just not in me today. Why??
I woke up this morning at 4:30. I was meeting Ben at 5:30 to go for a quick 20 mile bike ride. While piling all my gear into the bathroom and hoping not to wake anyone up, I checked my phone for any new emails. There on the screen was the latest update from Maya. Ronan had passed away. Like any tough guy would do, I sat there on the bathroom floor and cried.
Just the night before, I was celebrating a baseball win with my 8 year old coby. He had struck out 3 of the last 4 batters to beat the only undefeated team. While everyone is celebrating, there is this family whom most of us don't know, dealing with the loss of their gorgeous little 3 year old boy.
I can barely even type right now without tearing up. There are so many questions that even I find myself asking. And of course the most obvious is "why". Nobody will ever know.
How little we all are. I've said it a thousand times and I know I couldn't handle losing any of my boys. My little Keevan is 2 right now and the thought of a doctor ever telling me he had a terminal disease would absolutely devastate me. If I could take just one ounce of pain away from the Thompson family right now, I would do it in a heart beat. No family deserves this kind of pain, this kind of loss.
I think about my little league team and everything we go through during the season. In the end, how much of it really matters? Not much at all. Some of those kids just drive me nuts, some really shouldn't even be on a baseball field, but who am I to decide that? Everyone of those kids has something special to give if you give them a chance. Every little kid has a little bit of Ronan inside of them.
If youre having a crappy day at work or a crappy day at home..........look around. Put yourself in the shoes of the Thompson family. How selfish can we be to think we have it rough? Nobody knows pain, until you lose a child.
I woke up this morning at 4:30. I was meeting Ben at 5:30 to go for a quick 20 mile bike ride. While piling all my gear into the bathroom and hoping not to wake anyone up, I checked my phone for any new emails. There on the screen was the latest update from Maya. Ronan had passed away. Like any tough guy would do, I sat there on the bathroom floor and cried.
Just the night before, I was celebrating a baseball win with my 8 year old coby. He had struck out 3 of the last 4 batters to beat the only undefeated team. While everyone is celebrating, there is this family whom most of us don't know, dealing with the loss of their gorgeous little 3 year old boy.
I can barely even type right now without tearing up. There are so many questions that even I find myself asking. And of course the most obvious is "why". Nobody will ever know.
How little we all are. I've said it a thousand times and I know I couldn't handle losing any of my boys. My little Keevan is 2 right now and the thought of a doctor ever telling me he had a terminal disease would absolutely devastate me. If I could take just one ounce of pain away from the Thompson family right now, I would do it in a heart beat. No family deserves this kind of pain, this kind of loss.
I think about my little league team and everything we go through during the season. In the end, how much of it really matters? Not much at all. Some of those kids just drive me nuts, some really shouldn't even be on a baseball field, but who am I to decide that? Everyone of those kids has something special to give if you give them a chance. Every little kid has a little bit of Ronan inside of them.
If youre having a crappy day at work or a crappy day at home..........look around. Put yourself in the shoes of the Thompson family. How selfish can we be to think we have it rough? Nobody knows pain, until you lose a child.
Rest in Peace Little Guy
Friday, May 6, 2011
Oh I'm tired.
This is gonna be far from a profession driven post, but what the heck. I'm gonna pout and whine for a bit (not that it will do any good).
Do you ever feel like you have a million things going on, both physically and emotionally, have a ton of great friends around, and yet still feel alone to deal with it all?
In the whole scheme of things, most of it is easily dealt with and really isn't a very big deal. It's just when you pile those little things onto the bigger things, it just seems overwhelming at times.
Janelle's last day was last Friday. She was way more to me than my right hand girl. Janelle pretty much ran the place. I was able to focus on all the little things while she made sure the day to day things were getting done. Janelle was blessed with an amazing memory. I could ask her the name of a patient that I saw 3 months ago and she would rattle it off in no time. I could call her for anything and most often she had an answer. She took the job home with her too. Patient care was huge to Janelle. She would always tell me that she would wake up in the middle of the night worried about something at work. Usually it was something with documentation or something regarding a patient. She had a heart of gold and I'm truly going to miss her.
Lynda is taking her place and is doing a good job, but at the moment it's just going to take some time to learn everything. Janelle has been with me from day one so it was much easier to learn everything as we grew. Lynda on the other hand is coming in at a time when were very busy and have several hundred patients. So for the mean time, I have to spend a lot more time in the office making sure insurances are correct, patients are getting the right supplies, and items are being billed correctly. I have no doubt Lynda will be just fine, but like I said, it's a lot to learn so I just need to be patient and be sure she knows I'm behind her all the way.
The Ironhorse is coming up in less than a month and I'm not even close to being ready. With work and coaching two little league teams, I just don't have the time or energy to ride. I'm supposed to do a 70 mile ride tomorrow and I'm tired just thinking about it. I've got work all day, then two little league games tonight, then need to come back to work to send claims.
I'm guessing this is gonna be how things are for at least the next 6 weeks. I can only hope and pray for the best and keep plugging away.
Well I'm done whining for now. It really doesn't do me any good but writing it down sort of puts things into perspective. Hope you all have a good Friday.
Do you ever feel like you have a million things going on, both physically and emotionally, have a ton of great friends around, and yet still feel alone to deal with it all?
In the whole scheme of things, most of it is easily dealt with and really isn't a very big deal. It's just when you pile those little things onto the bigger things, it just seems overwhelming at times.
Janelle's last day was last Friday. She was way more to me than my right hand girl. Janelle pretty much ran the place. I was able to focus on all the little things while she made sure the day to day things were getting done. Janelle was blessed with an amazing memory. I could ask her the name of a patient that I saw 3 months ago and she would rattle it off in no time. I could call her for anything and most often she had an answer. She took the job home with her too. Patient care was huge to Janelle. She would always tell me that she would wake up in the middle of the night worried about something at work. Usually it was something with documentation or something regarding a patient. She had a heart of gold and I'm truly going to miss her.
Lynda is taking her place and is doing a good job, but at the moment it's just going to take some time to learn everything. Janelle has been with me from day one so it was much easier to learn everything as we grew. Lynda on the other hand is coming in at a time when were very busy and have several hundred patients. So for the mean time, I have to spend a lot more time in the office making sure insurances are correct, patients are getting the right supplies, and items are being billed correctly. I have no doubt Lynda will be just fine, but like I said, it's a lot to learn so I just need to be patient and be sure she knows I'm behind her all the way.
The Ironhorse is coming up in less than a month and I'm not even close to being ready. With work and coaching two little league teams, I just don't have the time or energy to ride. I'm supposed to do a 70 mile ride tomorrow and I'm tired just thinking about it. I've got work all day, then two little league games tonight, then need to come back to work to send claims.
I'm guessing this is gonna be how things are for at least the next 6 weeks. I can only hope and pray for the best and keep plugging away.
Well I'm done whining for now. It really doesn't do me any good but writing it down sort of puts things into perspective. Hope you all have a good Friday.
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Time Flies By
Saturday was such an awesome day. The day started off with Coby (my 8 year old) and I going to the ball field for little league pictures. After finally getting our pictures taken we headed down to the Hit A Thon which is a fundraiser for little league. Basically the kids go around getting pledges from people based on how far they hit the baseball. It's a lot of fun for the kids getting to see who can hit the ball the farthest.
Once we were done at the little league field, we were both craving an iced coffee from Burger King (yes I let my 8 year old drink coffee once in a while). On the way, we passed by the high school field and noticed a game was about the start. Coby asked if we could go watch and who am I to turn down a baseball game. We headed to Burger King, got our coffees and rushed back to the field. It ended up being a game between Show Low and Snowflake but Coby wanted to watch anyway so we stayed. He sat next to me the entire first game. I was impressed at how much attention he paid to the game, even questioning the umpire on several calls.
After the Show Low game was over, we decided to play catch in between games. Being only 8 years old, Coby can catch pretty much anything I can throw at him. We found out that this was Blue Ridge's last regular season game, so I was glad we were there. Now the game was even more special. Two of the players on the Blue Ridge squad, I had coached 6 years earlier on my first Major league team. Ethan Jacks and Nick Williams, both of them are very special to me. We've kept in touch over the years and it's impressive to see how they have grown both as ball players and more importantly, into great young men. Nick is a senior this year so it's the last time I'll get to see him play. During the game, one of the parents told me that during Senior Night, Nick had read paper he wrote and had mentioned me as one of his most inspirational coaches. Wow!! It about brought tears to my eyes. This kid is by far a better player than I ever was and in the end, he probably taught me more about hard work than I ever taught him. He's going on to play college ball after graduation and I have no doubts he will do great.
At our last little league game 6 years ago, a few of my players and I took a picture together. I have it hanging in my bike room at home. In the picture was Nick, Ethan, Ethans brother Sheldon, and Jon Arona. All 4 of these boys have really made an imprint on my life. All 4 of them mean the world to me. I saw Ethan and Sheldon at the game as well and it's crazy to see how much they both tower over me now. Sheldon is going onto play college football while Ethan has one more year at Blue Ridge. I heard they were going to try and get us all together for another picture before they graduate. I sure hope we can pull it off. That is a gift I would treasure for a lifetime.
These are the reasons I coach. It's young men like this that make the time and sacrifice worth it. I walked down to the field after the game and it took all I had not to tear up. Both Ethan and Nick gave me a hug and we talked a while about how quick the time has flown by. What a great group of boys. I feel blessed to have been a part of their lives. I doubt they will ever know how much they have touched mine.
Once we were done at the little league field, we were both craving an iced coffee from Burger King (yes I let my 8 year old drink coffee once in a while). On the way, we passed by the high school field and noticed a game was about the start. Coby asked if we could go watch and who am I to turn down a baseball game. We headed to Burger King, got our coffees and rushed back to the field. It ended up being a game between Show Low and Snowflake but Coby wanted to watch anyway so we stayed. He sat next to me the entire first game. I was impressed at how much attention he paid to the game, even questioning the umpire on several calls.
After the Show Low game was over, we decided to play catch in between games. Being only 8 years old, Coby can catch pretty much anything I can throw at him. We found out that this was Blue Ridge's last regular season game, so I was glad we were there. Now the game was even more special. Two of the players on the Blue Ridge squad, I had coached 6 years earlier on my first Major league team. Ethan Jacks and Nick Williams, both of them are very special to me. We've kept in touch over the years and it's impressive to see how they have grown both as ball players and more importantly, into great young men. Nick is a senior this year so it's the last time I'll get to see him play. During the game, one of the parents told me that during Senior Night, Nick had read paper he wrote and had mentioned me as one of his most inspirational coaches. Wow!! It about brought tears to my eyes. This kid is by far a better player than I ever was and in the end, he probably taught me more about hard work than I ever taught him. He's going on to play college ball after graduation and I have no doubts he will do great.
Me and Nick
At our last little league game 6 years ago, a few of my players and I took a picture together. I have it hanging in my bike room at home. In the picture was Nick, Ethan, Ethans brother Sheldon, and Jon Arona. All 4 of these boys have really made an imprint on my life. All 4 of them mean the world to me. I saw Ethan and Sheldon at the game as well and it's crazy to see how much they both tower over me now. Sheldon is going onto play college football while Ethan has one more year at Blue Ridge. I heard they were going to try and get us all together for another picture before they graduate. I sure hope we can pull it off. That is a gift I would treasure for a lifetime.
These are the reasons I coach. It's young men like this that make the time and sacrifice worth it. I walked down to the field after the game and it took all I had not to tear up. Both Ethan and Nick gave me a hug and we talked a while about how quick the time has flown by. What a great group of boys. I feel blessed to have been a part of their lives. I doubt they will ever know how much they have touched mine.
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