“The mind is everything. Every thought you create manifests itself in real world; if you didn’t achieve something you strive for - you simply didn’t believe in it enough.”
Mario Novak
Sunday, March 31, 2013
Saturday, March 30, 2013
Happy Easter
Happy Easter!!!!!
Let us not forget the Ultimate Sacrifice.
I fall so short of His Glory but I'm thankful to be forgiven.
"A life of true worship will find Jesus at the center of every thought and action. An impossible possibility."
Friday, March 29, 2013
Spandex...................tooooo tight!!!!
Doug (the head chef at Chalet) talked me into going for a little bike ride today. What I thought was just going to be a casual calorie burner turned into a brutal, burn up the lungs fest. For some reason, Doug had every intent on making this ride hurt............he succeeded. I felt like I was going to puke up every bit of food I ate while in Phoenix.
The worst part though,,,,,,,,,I accidentally put my 13 year olds cycling shorts in my bag. Yes I wore them. And yes it was an awful site, but there was no way I was going to miss out on a such a beautiful afternoon. I learned a couple of things about wearing spandex a size too small.............Wanna feel fatter, put on a tight pair of spandex shorts. These things created the most disgusting muffin top you can imagine. Also, apparently the ass end of these shorts were cut lower because I had to keep pulling my jersey down in order to keep from mooning the cars behind me. Just a complete grotesque and humbling ride. So if any of you poor souls saw me out riding today, I apologize now for the nightmares that are bound to occur. Ugh, I make myself nauseous just thinking about it.
Well it's almost quitting time, at least for now. I'll post more this weekend. For all you Blue Ridge parents, the last day of Little League tryouts are tomorrow. If your kid is so blessed to have this spandex wearing, shaved leg pathetic excuse of a bike rider for a coach, plan on a week of evening practices. :) Baseball season has arrived.
Have a super good (that's just a good word) night. Happy Good Friday.
The worst part though,,,,,,,,,I accidentally put my 13 year olds cycling shorts in my bag. Yes I wore them. And yes it was an awful site, but there was no way I was going to miss out on a such a beautiful afternoon. I learned a couple of things about wearing spandex a size too small.............Wanna feel fatter, put on a tight pair of spandex shorts. These things created the most disgusting muffin top you can imagine. Also, apparently the ass end of these shorts were cut lower because I had to keep pulling my jersey down in order to keep from mooning the cars behind me. Just a complete grotesque and humbling ride. So if any of you poor souls saw me out riding today, I apologize now for the nightmares that are bound to occur. Ugh, I make myself nauseous just thinking about it.
Well it's almost quitting time, at least for now. I'll post more this weekend. For all you Blue Ridge parents, the last day of Little League tryouts are tomorrow. If your kid is so blessed to have this spandex wearing, shaved leg pathetic excuse of a bike rider for a coach, plan on a week of evening practices. :) Baseball season has arrived.
Have a super good (that's just a good word) night. Happy Good Friday.
Thursday, March 28, 2013
Almost 17%%%
I'm feeling like quite the pansy weight loser today. I haven't weighed in since being back from the valley and I'm not sure I want to. The woman in me say's "I feel fat today".
What really makes me feel wimpy is the numbers being posted by a few of you. Someday Skinny is almost at 17%!! I'm struggling to get back to 4%. Personally, I'm telling myself that my numbers are completely unacceptable. I know for a fact that I can do better. I feel better, both psychologically and physically when I'm eating better and feeling thinner. I just want to kick myself in the butt sometimes.
So for what it's worth, Someday Skinny, you motivate me to want to do better. Your numbers are quite impressive.
Can'tw8, Andi, Toots, Chubby, you guys are all kicking some major butt. Keep it up!!!!
What really makes me feel wimpy is the numbers being posted by a few of you. Someday Skinny is almost at 17%!! I'm struggling to get back to 4%. Personally, I'm telling myself that my numbers are completely unacceptable. I know for a fact that I can do better. I feel better, both psychologically and physically when I'm eating better and feeling thinner. I just want to kick myself in the butt sometimes.
So for what it's worth, Someday Skinny, you motivate me to want to do better. Your numbers are quite impressive.
Can'tw8, Andi, Toots, Chubby, you guys are all kicking some major butt. Keep it up!!!!
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Spring Break 2013
I've written several drafts while being down here in Phoenix, but just never finished any of them. So I guess I'll just compile everything into this one.
I'm sad to say that today is our last day of vacation. Our few days of warmth and relaxation have come to an end. I can't wait for summer vacation this year. It's going to be a fun one.
So we arrived here about midnight last Thursday. Christy found this super cheap little house (cheaper then any decent hotel) over in East Mesa. It has been the perfect little place. It had a "community" pool, but the thing was so cold we never spent any time in it.
The subdivision is across the highway from Dana Park so we never really had to go far to shop,eat, or just walk around. It's rare that we ever stay this far East, but it's been really nice over here.
Our first full day here was spent relaxing and visiting a few "touristy" places. We spent most of the early afternoon at TumbleWeed park in South Mesa (at least I think that's where we were). If you have little kids, this park is great. Lots of playground equipment, lots of grass, and lots of sidewalks. While Keevan played on all the toys, Coby and I decided to throw the baseball around a little, Ryan rode his longboard around, and Christy split time chasing Keev and relaxing. Funny, it was only about 75 degrees, yet the kids were complaining that it was hot.
After the park we decided to head to the other side of Mesa and visit the Air Museum at Falcon Field. I hadn't been there since I was a little kid, but it was something that I had always remembered. I'm hoping my boys will always remember a small part of it as well. It's just always an incredible feeling to realize what our countrymen have been through in order to provide the freedoms we so often take for granted (ie, me typing in a public place on a public forum for example).
As soon as you walk in the hangar, you're in awe at all the amazing aircraft. From the little bi-planes of World War I, to the jets of the Vietnam Era, and of course the amazing B-17. Sentimental Journey never saw Europe during the confines of World War II, but if you have ever seen the movie "Memphis Belle", it will give you a sense of the beatings these planes took. Until you climb aboard one of these giant pieces of steel, it's hard to understand what these guys must have felt while in the air (not that we would ever understand). To be sitting in that ball turret while the enemy planes were attempting to shoot you out of the air......uhhhh no thanks!!!
As we get older and as our kids grow up, I think its so important for them to learn as much as we can teach them about our country's history, the principles in which it was founded, and the importance of staying true to your beliefs. Like my kids, I had no idea when I was here as a kid, the importance of what I was looking at. I can only hope that when my kids are older, they too will understand.
Saturday was pretty much a day of relaxing. We spent almost the entire morning and afternoon hanging out around the house. Christy had bought a brutally tough puzzle for us all to work on throughout the break, but I think in the end, she ended up putting most of it together by herself, though I did find a few a pieces that fit. We had found a small park just on the opposite side of the road where we were staying so that afternoon we all headed over there to mess around. We threw the football and frisbee around while trying to soak up as much sun as possible. After that we headed to Five Guys for dinner:) Ryan had been craving it and you just can't beat their burgers. After chowing down on the Five Guy feast, we walked to other side of the shopping center to end the day with some tasty frozen yogurt. What better way to end a really good day?
What's a trip to the valley without South Mountain:). Sunday just happened to be Silent Sunday at South Mountain park. If you don't know about Silent Sunday, the park is closed once a month (usually the last Sunday) to all motorized vehicles. It's a great time to bring your family and not worry about getting ran over.:) We loaded up the bikes, some chairs, and some snacks and headed over to South Mountain. The weather was beautiful. Christy hadn't planned on riding, so she stayed in the parking lot and played around with Keevan (I must say though, she made the most of her time, while Keevan was riding around his little bike, she learned to ride the long board). Ryan, Coby, and I headed up towards the towers. It was getting warm and if you have ever been here, parts of the climb can't get pretty hot and steep. Ryan rode up like a champ. Coby......well he didn't like it so much. It was his really first introduction pain on the bike. He is not one to push it very hard. While I would never compare one brother to another (they each have their own individual gifts) Ryan has always been pretty good on a bike. He's ridden Colorado, he's ridden Mount Lemmon, he's just been all over, and not once (as he should be proud to say) has he ever walked his bike. For a 13 year old kid who has been riding for a long time, that pretty impressive. Most kids would be like Coby was on Sunday and just say, I'm tired I need a break. It took a lot longer then planned to get to the top. In fact, Ryan had already started his second trek to the top when Coby and I passed him going down. Fast or slow, the day was great. Even better, the day ended at Red Lobster:).
Ahhh Monday. Monday morning was again spent just chilling out around the house. A friend of ours had invited us to join her son's birthday party at K1 Racing. Who am I to turn down an opportunity to drive fast, even if it's in a little go kart? What a blast. These little karts rock!! It's all electric, so you're not gagging on fumes, plus it's indoors so the temp is perfect. If you ever have a chance to go, I highly recommend it.
I'm sad to say that today is our last day of vacation. Our few days of warmth and relaxation have come to an end. I can't wait for summer vacation this year. It's going to be a fun one.
So we arrived here about midnight last Thursday. Christy found this super cheap little house (cheaper then any decent hotel) over in East Mesa. It has been the perfect little place. It had a "community" pool, but the thing was so cold we never spent any time in it.
The subdivision is across the highway from Dana Park so we never really had to go far to shop,eat, or just walk around. It's rare that we ever stay this far East, but it's been really nice over here.
Our first full day here was spent relaxing and visiting a few "touristy" places. We spent most of the early afternoon at TumbleWeed park in South Mesa (at least I think that's where we were). If you have little kids, this park is great. Lots of playground equipment, lots of grass, and lots of sidewalks. While Keevan played on all the toys, Coby and I decided to throw the baseball around a little, Ryan rode his longboard around, and Christy split time chasing Keev and relaxing. Funny, it was only about 75 degrees, yet the kids were complaining that it was hot.
After the park we decided to head to the other side of Mesa and visit the Air Museum at Falcon Field. I hadn't been there since I was a little kid, but it was something that I had always remembered. I'm hoping my boys will always remember a small part of it as well. It's just always an incredible feeling to realize what our countrymen have been through in order to provide the freedoms we so often take for granted (ie, me typing in a public place on a public forum for example).
As soon as you walk in the hangar, you're in awe at all the amazing aircraft. From the little bi-planes of World War I, to the jets of the Vietnam Era, and of course the amazing B-17. Sentimental Journey never saw Europe during the confines of World War II, but if you have ever seen the movie "Memphis Belle", it will give you a sense of the beatings these planes took. Until you climb aboard one of these giant pieces of steel, it's hard to understand what these guys must have felt while in the air (not that we would ever understand). To be sitting in that ball turret while the enemy planes were attempting to shoot you out of the air......uhhhh no thanks!!!
Ball Turret Under B-17
The biggest plane they would let Keevan fly.
The F-4 Phantom
My dad's favorites, the P-51 Mustang
"Sentimental Journey" beautifully restored B-17
Logo painted on a Vietnam Era helicopter
Can't imagine ever receiving one of these. Millions were sent.
As we get older and as our kids grow up, I think its so important for them to learn as much as we can teach them about our country's history, the principles in which it was founded, and the importance of staying true to your beliefs. Like my kids, I had no idea when I was here as a kid, the importance of what I was looking at. I can only hope that when my kids are older, they too will understand.
Saturday was pretty much a day of relaxing. We spent almost the entire morning and afternoon hanging out around the house. Christy had bought a brutally tough puzzle for us all to work on throughout the break, but I think in the end, she ended up putting most of it together by herself, though I did find a few a pieces that fit. We had found a small park just on the opposite side of the road where we were staying so that afternoon we all headed over there to mess around. We threw the football and frisbee around while trying to soak up as much sun as possible. After that we headed to Five Guys for dinner:) Ryan had been craving it and you just can't beat their burgers. After chowing down on the Five Guy feast, we walked to other side of the shopping center to end the day with some tasty frozen yogurt. What better way to end a really good day?
What's a trip to the valley without South Mountain:). Sunday just happened to be Silent Sunday at South Mountain park. If you don't know about Silent Sunday, the park is closed once a month (usually the last Sunday) to all motorized vehicles. It's a great time to bring your family and not worry about getting ran over.:) We loaded up the bikes, some chairs, and some snacks and headed over to South Mountain. The weather was beautiful. Christy hadn't planned on riding, so she stayed in the parking lot and played around with Keevan (I must say though, she made the most of her time, while Keevan was riding around his little bike, she learned to ride the long board). Ryan, Coby, and I headed up towards the towers. It was getting warm and if you have ever been here, parts of the climb can't get pretty hot and steep. Ryan rode up like a champ. Coby......well he didn't like it so much. It was his really first introduction pain on the bike. He is not one to push it very hard. While I would never compare one brother to another (they each have their own individual gifts) Ryan has always been pretty good on a bike. He's ridden Colorado, he's ridden Mount Lemmon, he's just been all over, and not once (as he should be proud to say) has he ever walked his bike. For a 13 year old kid who has been riding for a long time, that pretty impressive. Most kids would be like Coby was on Sunday and just say, I'm tired I need a break. It took a lot longer then planned to get to the top. In fact, Ryan had already started his second trek to the top when Coby and I passed him going down. Fast or slow, the day was great. Even better, the day ended at Red Lobster:).
Ahhh Monday. Monday morning was again spent just chilling out around the house. A friend of ours had invited us to join her son's birthday party at K1 Racing. Who am I to turn down an opportunity to drive fast, even if it's in a little go kart? What a blast. These little karts rock!! It's all electric, so you're not gagging on fumes, plus it's indoors so the temp is perfect. If you ever have a chance to go, I highly recommend it.
Coby getting ready for his race.
Our last full day here was spent at the Phoenix Zoo. Holy cow, I think the entire state was at the zoo. I have never seen such long lines. It was crazy. After getting in though, it didn't seem so crowded. I had to laugh though, if you're ever feeling down about yourself, just go sit at the zoo for a while. It's almost as entertaining as sitting at the mall. There are people of all types. The TV show "What Not to Wear" could be busy full time!!
Keevan's only desire was to see the lions and tigers and to pet the goats:). All of which we accomplished. No matter how many times I've been to the zoo, I'm always amazed at the big cats. Tigers are such a majestically cool animal.
Which brings me to today :( My last morning at Starbucks. I'm not ready to go back to the real world. I would love a few more day to just sit and read a book. This weekend is the last weekend of baseball tryouts then we pick our teams on Monday night. Little League is then on, full bore. 3 weeks of practice then 2 games a week with at least 2 practices. Every year, little league seems to dominate my entire Spring and Early Summer schedule, as well as my family's. This year I'm not going to let that happen. While I will give my team everything I've got, I'm going to spend some time working on the yard, spending it with my wife and kids, and just having a good time.
Well, I guess I better finish up this Cappuccino and get back to the house. Hope everyone has had a great week. I don't think my goal of coming home a little lighter is going to be reached, but I don't think I've gained any either. One more week for the weight loss challenge. Dig deep people!!!
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Friday, March 22, 2013
There's no I in Team
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
1st Day of Spring Break
Ahhhhh, my first day of vacation. We didn't get out of town until late last night and finally arrived in Mesa at around midnight. I figure my only quiet time is going to be in the morning before everyone gets up, so here I am, 6:30 am at the nearest Starbucks. Honestly, I'd probably much rather be sleeping, but it's pretty nice being out and about with the rest of the coffee drinking world.
Other than relaxing, we don't have a whole lot planned. In fact, I don't think we have a single thing planned for today. I'm guessing the boys will want to hit the pool (no matter what the temperature is). We're down here until Wednesday, so it's going to be some good down time, at least that's what I'm hoping for.
While I'm away, I'll do my best at posting all the updated weigh ins as they come in. Only two weeks left!!! I'm praying that everyone still has some motivation left. I'm planning on losing a few pounds while I'm down here. In fact, I even ordered a coffee without all the sugar. It's not quite as enjoyable, but I want to see some good numbers on the scale when I get back.
If any of you are heading down this way over the weekend, just a heads up, this weekend is Silent Sunday at South Mountain. That means no cars allowed. Bring your bike, bring your running shoes. It's a beautiful ride/run and it's even more enjoyable on days where there are no cars. We brought our little box trailer down full of bikes, skateboards, baseballs, and frisbees so our Sunday will most likely be spent in the huge South Mountain parking lot. These white little legs expect to absorb lots of sun over the next few days. My heart goes out to any and all poor souls that have to see them "pre-tan".
Ugh, the internet is brutally slow here. I've been trying to look at the current weight loss standings, but I keep getting kicked off. How many of you are going to hit double digits? With only a couple of weeks left, are you finding extra motivation? Let's see someone give Someday a run for her money:). Scalecrusher, I'll post your new numbers as soon as I log on to my work computer. I hear you're going to sunny California for spring break so I'll be praying that you return with some good numbers as well.
On a completely different note, a while back I saw Ashley's post about keeping lists of things to do. I was told about a book called "Getting Things Done-The Art of Stress Free Productivity". Of course I bought it:). Not only did I buy it, but over the past two weeks I've been implementing it. I love it!!! My desk is almost completely cleaned off, almost all of my paperwork has been filed away, and my email is neatly organized. Speaking of email...............over the last 2 days, I have deleted over 8000 emails, 8000!!!! Most of it was just crap, you know those advertisements that you don't remember signing up for, well they have all be "unsubscribed" and deleted. Of course, now my goal is to stick with it. If you have the desire to organize, I highly suggest the book. I have it on my Kindle, but just by chance, there's a Barnes and Noble across the street from where we are staying, so I'm going to get the paper version while I'm here.
Well I guess I better get back to see who is among the living. Nobody was in bed before 1am so I'm not sure when everyone be up and going. I'm sure I'll be ready for another coffee by the time they get moving. Hope you all have a super day.
Note: There is no WiFi where we are staying, so StarBucks and Barnes and Noble will be frequented. Can you imagine.......a world with no internet service:) Isn't it crazy, I remember when this is what my cell phone looked like:
Have a great day:)
Other than relaxing, we don't have a whole lot planned. In fact, I don't think we have a single thing planned for today. I'm guessing the boys will want to hit the pool (no matter what the temperature is). We're down here until Wednesday, so it's going to be some good down time, at least that's what I'm hoping for.
While I'm away, I'll do my best at posting all the updated weigh ins as they come in. Only two weeks left!!! I'm praying that everyone still has some motivation left. I'm planning on losing a few pounds while I'm down here. In fact, I even ordered a coffee without all the sugar. It's not quite as enjoyable, but I want to see some good numbers on the scale when I get back.
If any of you are heading down this way over the weekend, just a heads up, this weekend is Silent Sunday at South Mountain. That means no cars allowed. Bring your bike, bring your running shoes. It's a beautiful ride/run and it's even more enjoyable on days where there are no cars. We brought our little box trailer down full of bikes, skateboards, baseballs, and frisbees so our Sunday will most likely be spent in the huge South Mountain parking lot. These white little legs expect to absorb lots of sun over the next few days. My heart goes out to any and all poor souls that have to see them "pre-tan".
Ugh, the internet is brutally slow here. I've been trying to look at the current weight loss standings, but I keep getting kicked off. How many of you are going to hit double digits? With only a couple of weeks left, are you finding extra motivation? Let's see someone give Someday a run for her money:). Scalecrusher, I'll post your new numbers as soon as I log on to my work computer. I hear you're going to sunny California for spring break so I'll be praying that you return with some good numbers as well.
On a completely different note, a while back I saw Ashley's post about keeping lists of things to do. I was told about a book called "Getting Things Done-The Art of Stress Free Productivity". Of course I bought it:). Not only did I buy it, but over the past two weeks I've been implementing it. I love it!!! My desk is almost completely cleaned off, almost all of my paperwork has been filed away, and my email is neatly organized. Speaking of email...............over the last 2 days, I have deleted over 8000 emails, 8000!!!! Most of it was just crap, you know those advertisements that you don't remember signing up for, well they have all be "unsubscribed" and deleted. Of course, now my goal is to stick with it. If you have the desire to organize, I highly suggest the book. I have it on my Kindle, but just by chance, there's a Barnes and Noble across the street from where we are staying, so I'm going to get the paper version while I'm here.
Well I guess I better get back to see who is among the living. Nobody was in bed before 1am so I'm not sure when everyone be up and going. I'm sure I'll be ready for another coffee by the time they get moving. Hope you all have a super day.
Note: There is no WiFi where we are staying, so StarBucks and Barnes and Noble will be frequented. Can you imagine.......a world with no internet service:) Isn't it crazy, I remember when this is what my cell phone looked like:
Have a great day:)
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Belonging
I'm not really sure what made me think to write this post with the exception of one of the kids I spoke with at Little League Tryouts this weekend. He's a good looking kid with everything going for him. He's funny, athletic, and I'm sure the girls think he a good catch. He's just an all-around fun kid.
Him and I were standing next to the fence talking about everything from how school was going to how much he was looking forward to playing this summer. Then a few of his friends walked up. It was as if you had turned on a switch. His demeanor completely changed. He went from being this mature, well spoken young man, to this little punk kid with nothing good to say about anything. I couldn't believe it. Little does he know is that if he ends up on my team, I'm going to talk to him about it.
This got me to thinking of how important it is for people to "Belong". Belonging to something seems to give people more meaning, more self assurance. Is this a self esteem thing? I think maybe a little, but I also think we all have a yearning to be a part of something.
I remember when I first started racing bikes. A friend of mine who was much faster on a bike then I ever was, belonged to a team called Team Suisse down in Phoenix. To be a member of the team, all you had to do was pay your dues and get in on some races. The best part though was the cool jacket that you got that said "Team Suisse" on the back and your name on the front. Walking around as a 9th grader in a school that knew nothing of cycling, I felt like quite the stud with my jacket on. Guess how many races I participated in that year.............ONE!!!! and when your a young rookie on a bike team that has lots of fast people, guess what your job is as the rookie................you become the windbreak and the bottle fetcher for the fast guys. Any idea how many people at my school knew of my "slave" duties on the bike......not a single one:) . All my classmates knew was that I was part of a kick ass bike team down in the valley. That's all they would ever know. I belonged.......though it was very little, I belonged to something cool.
I believe that at a certain level, belonging to something makes one feel just a little more "complete". Whether it's a church group, an athletic team, extracurricular club, or even just a group of friends, belonging makes one feel a little more secure about themselves.
The battle comes when belonging to something adds or takes away from ones self esteem. One does not have to belong to anything at all to "be someone". "Being someone" comes from within and cannot or should not be taken away from anyone no matter what. Finding the strength to be strong in your own skin is something we should all be able to do.
As I've gotten older, I've realized that we all have our own little hidden fears, self esteem issues, etc. There is no need to put others on a pedestal, because all of us have our little "skeletons" that we battle everyday. You have to believe that you are just as good as the next guy or girl. I realize that for many, this is easier said than done, but you really are.
There's nothing wrong with "belonging" to something. More importantly though, I think there is nothing wrong with "not belonging". As a young person this fact can be very hard to accept. When you are young, belonging is everything. Chess club, dance team, football team, everyone young person wants to belong to some sort of group. If only we knew then what we realize as we grow older.
I'm not saying being a "loner" is cool and fun. I'm sure it would suck. What I am saying, is that even if you are a loner, you're really not. Everyone feels alone at some point. Heck, there are people that have a million so called "friends" but at the end of the day, they feel just as alone.
Everyone one has value. Everyone has a heart. It just takes special people to see those things sometimes. Someones "worth" should never be dependent on anyone else. Having high self-esteem or just feeling secure in your own skin is huge. You can see it in someones walk, the way they talk, they way they present themselves. Believing in yourself is huge!!
And since were putting on the weightloss challenge, I'll venture down that road.
What drives me crazy is when people say "I'm fine being big". Because you know they aren't. We all want to belong to the "thin" crowd, we all want to feel "beautiful". Who wouldn't want the bodies of Jennifer Anniston and Ryan Reynolds?
Tough love maybe, but it's a cop out. It's something you tell yourself to justify either how you eat, how you look, etc. I say this because there is absolutely nothing wrong with admitting to yourself that you want to do better. You don't have to create some fake security blanket to justify things to the rest of the world.
I could say to myself, "I'm completely happy being my chubby hairy self". I'm sure if I said it long enough, I could convince myself of it. But I'm not. I'm not happy with it at all. So I try to do something about it. It's not a self esteem issue, I just want to look and feel better.
Another example. Let's say your a guy and your 300+ lbs. Possibly a little uncomfortable to go to the gym. When I'm at the gym, do you know who I admire most? That's right, the 300+ guy who is busting his ass to lose the weight that he someone gained over the years. Since starting this blog, I've tried to practice what I preach. In highschool (long time ago) I could bench 220 and squat almost 350. I can't come even close to either of those numbers now. Either of those weights would squish me like a bug. To be honest, that bugged me for a while. So much that if there was someone stronger than me in the gym (not hard to do) I would avoid the bench press and the squat rack. Now though, I don't care. Well I do, but I don't let it stop me. In fact one of the guys that now spots me (keeps the weights from crashing down on me), is one of my old students and has arms 3 times the size of mine. I've accepted the fact that trying is more important than avoiding.
Focus on the end goal. Not the NOW. I will never bench press 200#'s if I don't start bench pressing 135. You can't immediately go from a weight of 200lbs to 140. You're going to have to hit 199, 198, 197 etc. but focus on the 140!!!
Back to belonging...........believe in yourself. People of any worth will put more value in that then they will anything else. Don't let others dictate your worth, your heart, your desires. It's all up to you. You have a starting point and a goal to reach, usually with a whole lot of middle ground. Baby steps, but just keep stepping.
More important then belonging to something.................make others feel like they belong. It's how we all want to feel.
Him and I were standing next to the fence talking about everything from how school was going to how much he was looking forward to playing this summer. Then a few of his friends walked up. It was as if you had turned on a switch. His demeanor completely changed. He went from being this mature, well spoken young man, to this little punk kid with nothing good to say about anything. I couldn't believe it. Little does he know is that if he ends up on my team, I'm going to talk to him about it.
This got me to thinking of how important it is for people to "Belong". Belonging to something seems to give people more meaning, more self assurance. Is this a self esteem thing? I think maybe a little, but I also think we all have a yearning to be a part of something.
I remember when I first started racing bikes. A friend of mine who was much faster on a bike then I ever was, belonged to a team called Team Suisse down in Phoenix. To be a member of the team, all you had to do was pay your dues and get in on some races. The best part though was the cool jacket that you got that said "Team Suisse" on the back and your name on the front. Walking around as a 9th grader in a school that knew nothing of cycling, I felt like quite the stud with my jacket on. Guess how many races I participated in that year.............ONE!!!! and when your a young rookie on a bike team that has lots of fast people, guess what your job is as the rookie................you become the windbreak and the bottle fetcher for the fast guys. Any idea how many people at my school knew of my "slave" duties on the bike......not a single one:) . All my classmates knew was that I was part of a kick ass bike team down in the valley. That's all they would ever know. I belonged.......though it was very little, I belonged to something cool.
I believe that at a certain level, belonging to something makes one feel just a little more "complete". Whether it's a church group, an athletic team, extracurricular club, or even just a group of friends, belonging makes one feel a little more secure about themselves.
The battle comes when belonging to something adds or takes away from ones self esteem. One does not have to belong to anything at all to "be someone". "Being someone" comes from within and cannot or should not be taken away from anyone no matter what. Finding the strength to be strong in your own skin is something we should all be able to do.
As I've gotten older, I've realized that we all have our own little hidden fears, self esteem issues, etc. There is no need to put others on a pedestal, because all of us have our little "skeletons" that we battle everyday. You have to believe that you are just as good as the next guy or girl. I realize that for many, this is easier said than done, but you really are.
There's nothing wrong with "belonging" to something. More importantly though, I think there is nothing wrong with "not belonging". As a young person this fact can be very hard to accept. When you are young, belonging is everything. Chess club, dance team, football team, everyone young person wants to belong to some sort of group. If only we knew then what we realize as we grow older.
I'm not saying being a "loner" is cool and fun. I'm sure it would suck. What I am saying, is that even if you are a loner, you're really not. Everyone feels alone at some point. Heck, there are people that have a million so called "friends" but at the end of the day, they feel just as alone.
Everyone one has value. Everyone has a heart. It just takes special people to see those things sometimes. Someones "worth" should never be dependent on anyone else. Having high self-esteem or just feeling secure in your own skin is huge. You can see it in someones walk, the way they talk, they way they present themselves. Believing in yourself is huge!!
And since were putting on the weightloss challenge, I'll venture down that road.
What drives me crazy is when people say "I'm fine being big". Because you know they aren't. We all want to belong to the "thin" crowd, we all want to feel "beautiful". Who wouldn't want the bodies of Jennifer Anniston and Ryan Reynolds?
Tough love maybe, but it's a cop out. It's something you tell yourself to justify either how you eat, how you look, etc. I say this because there is absolutely nothing wrong with admitting to yourself that you want to do better. You don't have to create some fake security blanket to justify things to the rest of the world.
I could say to myself, "I'm completely happy being my chubby hairy self". I'm sure if I said it long enough, I could convince myself of it. But I'm not. I'm not happy with it at all. So I try to do something about it. It's not a self esteem issue, I just want to look and feel better.
Another example. Let's say your a guy and your 300+ lbs. Possibly a little uncomfortable to go to the gym. When I'm at the gym, do you know who I admire most? That's right, the 300+ guy who is busting his ass to lose the weight that he someone gained over the years. Since starting this blog, I've tried to practice what I preach. In highschool (long time ago) I could bench 220 and squat almost 350. I can't come even close to either of those numbers now. Either of those weights would squish me like a bug. To be honest, that bugged me for a while. So much that if there was someone stronger than me in the gym (not hard to do) I would avoid the bench press and the squat rack. Now though, I don't care. Well I do, but I don't let it stop me. In fact one of the guys that now spots me (keeps the weights from crashing down on me), is one of my old students and has arms 3 times the size of mine. I've accepted the fact that trying is more important than avoiding.
Focus on the end goal. Not the NOW. I will never bench press 200#'s if I don't start bench pressing 135. You can't immediately go from a weight of 200lbs to 140. You're going to have to hit 199, 198, 197 etc. but focus on the 140!!!
Back to belonging...........believe in yourself. People of any worth will put more value in that then they will anything else. Don't let others dictate your worth, your heart, your desires. It's all up to you. You have a starting point and a goal to reach, usually with a whole lot of middle ground. Baby steps, but just keep stepping.
More important then belonging to something.................make others feel like they belong. It's how we all want to feel.
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Can't W8 2 B Skinny
CantW82Bskinny............Awesome numbers!!!! I'm looking forward to seeing you hit 10%. Keep at it!!
So Very Proud of you!!!!
Monday, March 18, 2013
Wow
Watching Biggest Loser Finale, holy cow!!! These people look amazing!!!!
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Biggest loser finale
FYI: biggest loser finale is on tonight at 7pm on NBC.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
So how is everyone doing with their weightloss goals? Good, bad, frustrated?
If you're like me, it's up and down. From motivation, success, slacking off, failure, starting again, etc.
I think all you can do is hang in there. It's a process. It's a process that I think we all want to be good at, but so many of us remain on this up and down rollercoaster.
I've mentioned this before, but in time, it really needs to be part of your daily life. Eating healthy shouldn't be something we do just to lose weight or look good in your swimwear. It's about being healthy. It's about eating foods that your body can break down and use efficiently for energy. I'm hoping your not thinking Twinkies are on that list.
Do your research on how good foods are assimilated. Education is a good motivator. Mix up your workouts. Set short term goals in order to reach your long term ones (Don't try achieving 20 goals at once).
Most importantly.............Don't Quit!!!!
If you're like me, it's up and down. From motivation, success, slacking off, failure, starting again, etc.
I think all you can do is hang in there. It's a process. It's a process that I think we all want to be good at, but so many of us remain on this up and down rollercoaster.
I've mentioned this before, but in time, it really needs to be part of your daily life. Eating healthy shouldn't be something we do just to lose weight or look good in your swimwear. It's about being healthy. It's about eating foods that your body can break down and use efficiently for energy. I'm hoping your not thinking Twinkies are on that list.
Do your research on how good foods are assimilated. Education is a good motivator. Mix up your workouts. Set short term goals in order to reach your long term ones (Don't try achieving 20 goals at once).
Most importantly.............Don't Quit!!!!
Quick Trip to Phoenix
Sorry for the major delay in posting. The house we stayed in down in the valley had no internet service.
On Thursday, Christy and I headed down to Phoenix to pick up some friends flying in from Virginia. They had never been out west so it was quite the adventure. Things that are so normal for us, ie cactus, Native Americans etc, they found very interesting.
Being that I had to be back in Pinetop first thing Saturday morning for Little League Tryouts, we drove down separately. Arriving in Mesa, we parked my car, then Christy and I headed over to Sky Harbor to pick them up. I could not believe how hot it was. It was probably even more shocking to our friends flying in. When they left Virginia, it was 35 degrees and blowing snow and rain. When they landed in Phoenix, it was 91 degrees. :)
Jenny is a long time friend of Christys. They grew up together in Georgia until Christy moved to Flagstaff as an 8th grader. Jenny still has the Southern twang and could have her own comedy act. Things just seem to be funnier when they have that Southern redneck sound attached to them. :) Her husband Greg is a Chiropractor and own's two clinics, his private clinic plus one at Virginia Tech (yes he was there during the shooting).
I had never met Greg before and wasn't sure what to expect when they arrived. I would be lying if I said I wasn't worried about how it would go. As it usually goes, the worry was for nothing. We had a great time together. Everyone seemed very laid back and the conversations just moved right along. Jenny homeschools her 3 kids so it was interesting to hear how that goes. Greg's stories of some of his patients were nothing short of hilarious. He wasn't able to use names of course (as if I would know anyone on the East coast) but in 16 years of practicing, he has seen a wide range of people. The one I couldn't stop laughing about was when he said it was nothing out of the ordinary to have a "hooker"(not sure if there is a more professional title that they use now a days) walk in to be treated. For some reason, I just couldn't get this one out of my head. If your "turning tricks" to make ends meet, you must be doing pretty well if your making regular trips to the chiropractor. Oh and then there was the pole dancer............are you kidding me?I guess being a college town, there are going to be all types. I gotta say though, in all my years at NAU, I never saw one hooker or one pole dancer:) . Maybe I was hanging out at all the wrong places.............the library:) .
We didn't have much time to do a whole lot on Thursday, so after dropping off their baggage we decided to go eat. Ever eat at TQLA's? I never had before, but it was delicious. Greg and Jenny wanted TexMex and this was the best we could do. Yummmmm!!
Our original plans for Friday were to drive them up to Sedona. We thought they would love the Red Rocks and a little shopping. In then end though, we agreed that none of us wanted to spend that much time in the car. They wanted to see someplace with a "desert" setting, so we decided to go to the Botanical Gardens over by the Phoenix Zoo. The have the Spring Butterfly Exhibit going on so we thought that would be fun to see.
Being from Arizona, I wasn't sure how much I would enjoy the Gardens but it was actually very interesting. The Butterfly Exhibit was very cool. My cellphone sucks at pictures but here's a few. It's much better in person and Greg took some great pictures that I'll post if I can get him to send me some copies.
I guess I'm a little naive to how many people enjoy this kind of stuff because I wasn't expecting much of a crowd, but surprisingly the place was packed. Mostly older people.....I thought to myself, the traffic must be good in Pinetop because all the seniors are down here.:) There were a few kids there, but unless your kid has a real love for the desert I wouldn't suggest taking them. They would be bored within the hour, but for us old people, it was interesting.
It was pretty warm so we stayed for about 2 hours then decided to go for lunch. The Wildflower Bread Factory..............if you get a chance to try out, you won't be disappointed. If you're a coffee drinker, I highly recommend the Wildflower Cappuccino. If they weren't so full of calories, I'd drink them all day long.
I won't bore you with the entire day, but to kill some time we decided to go drive to the top of South Mountain. As many times as I've ridden my bike up this, I had never driven it. I can see why,,,,that many switchbacks will make all your passengers car sick. I drove slow in hopes of easing the curves, so it seemed like it took forever to get to the top. As always though, it was beautiful at the top. It just never ceases to amaze me at how much you can see from up there.
The rest of the evening was spent with a little shopping at Arizona Mills and some good conversation. I had to leave at 5:30 the next morning so I called it a night about 10:00.
It was a bit sad to leave the beautiful weather. Upon leaving I stopped at Starbucks on the way out of town. At 6am there were people outside enjoying their coffee. I was so jealous. I got back to Pinetop around 9am and it was 51 degrees. Ugh!!!! I gotta say though, typically it's snowing during tryouts so I'm not complaining.
On Thursday, Christy and I headed down to Phoenix to pick up some friends flying in from Virginia. They had never been out west so it was quite the adventure. Things that are so normal for us, ie cactus, Native Americans etc, they found very interesting.
Being that I had to be back in Pinetop first thing Saturday morning for Little League Tryouts, we drove down separately. Arriving in Mesa, we parked my car, then Christy and I headed over to Sky Harbor to pick them up. I could not believe how hot it was. It was probably even more shocking to our friends flying in. When they left Virginia, it was 35 degrees and blowing snow and rain. When they landed in Phoenix, it was 91 degrees. :)
Jenny is a long time friend of Christys. They grew up together in Georgia until Christy moved to Flagstaff as an 8th grader. Jenny still has the Southern twang and could have her own comedy act. Things just seem to be funnier when they have that Southern redneck sound attached to them. :) Her husband Greg is a Chiropractor and own's two clinics, his private clinic plus one at Virginia Tech (yes he was there during the shooting).
I had never met Greg before and wasn't sure what to expect when they arrived. I would be lying if I said I wasn't worried about how it would go. As it usually goes, the worry was for nothing. We had a great time together. Everyone seemed very laid back and the conversations just moved right along. Jenny homeschools her 3 kids so it was interesting to hear how that goes. Greg's stories of some of his patients were nothing short of hilarious. He wasn't able to use names of course (as if I would know anyone on the East coast) but in 16 years of practicing, he has seen a wide range of people. The one I couldn't stop laughing about was when he said it was nothing out of the ordinary to have a "hooker"(not sure if there is a more professional title that they use now a days) walk in to be treated. For some reason, I just couldn't get this one out of my head. If your "turning tricks" to make ends meet, you must be doing pretty well if your making regular trips to the chiropractor. Oh and then there was the pole dancer............are you kidding me?I guess being a college town, there are going to be all types. I gotta say though, in all my years at NAU, I never saw one hooker or one pole dancer:) . Maybe I was hanging out at all the wrong places.............the library:) .
We didn't have much time to do a whole lot on Thursday, so after dropping off their baggage we decided to go eat. Ever eat at TQLA's? I never had before, but it was delicious. Greg and Jenny wanted TexMex and this was the best we could do. Yummmmm!!
Our original plans for Friday were to drive them up to Sedona. We thought they would love the Red Rocks and a little shopping. In then end though, we agreed that none of us wanted to spend that much time in the car. They wanted to see someplace with a "desert" setting, so we decided to go to the Botanical Gardens over by the Phoenix Zoo. The have the Spring Butterfly Exhibit going on so we thought that would be fun to see.
Being from Arizona, I wasn't sure how much I would enjoy the Gardens but it was actually very interesting. The Butterfly Exhibit was very cool. My cellphone sucks at pictures but here's a few. It's much better in person and Greg took some great pictures that I'll post if I can get him to send me some copies.
Yes, I'm a guy, but the Butterflies were beautiful. What an amazing little creature.
This little guy was the star of the show. He was just cruising around, almost posing for the camera. Then suddenly he just sprawled out on the ground and just laid there enjoying the sun.
I guess I'm a little naive to how many people enjoy this kind of stuff because I wasn't expecting much of a crowd, but surprisingly the place was packed. Mostly older people.....I thought to myself, the traffic must be good in Pinetop because all the seniors are down here.:) There were a few kids there, but unless your kid has a real love for the desert I wouldn't suggest taking them. They would be bored within the hour, but for us old people, it was interesting.
It was pretty warm so we stayed for about 2 hours then decided to go for lunch. The Wildflower Bread Factory..............if you get a chance to try out, you won't be disappointed. If you're a coffee drinker, I highly recommend the Wildflower Cappuccino. If they weren't so full of calories, I'd drink them all day long.
I won't bore you with the entire day, but to kill some time we decided to go drive to the top of South Mountain. As many times as I've ridden my bike up this, I had never driven it. I can see why,,,,that many switchbacks will make all your passengers car sick. I drove slow in hopes of easing the curves, so it seemed like it took forever to get to the top. As always though, it was beautiful at the top. It just never ceases to amaze me at how much you can see from up there.
The rest of the evening was spent with a little shopping at Arizona Mills and some good conversation. I had to leave at 5:30 the next morning so I called it a night about 10:00.
It was a bit sad to leave the beautiful weather. Upon leaving I stopped at Starbucks on the way out of town. At 6am there were people outside enjoying their coffee. I was so jealous. I got back to Pinetop around 9am and it was 51 degrees. Ugh!!!! I gotta say though, typically it's snowing during tryouts so I'm not complaining.
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Cell phone lot
Whoever thought up the "cell phone" lot at Sky Harbor" was really thinking. How convenient!!
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Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Cuts and more cuts
It's been a struggle for me to look past the latest bid rates with regards to round 2 of competitive bidding. Although these rates won't really affect AOM until 2016, my heart goes out to the mom and pop companies located within the Competitive Bid Areas (Phoenix, Mesa, Glendale). The accepted rates are worse than anyone ever imagined. Oxygen is taking a 45% cut on top of a 2% sequester cut. What company can cut their rates by 47 percent and still survive? One thing is for sure, service is going to go to crap. Companies are going to have to work with skeleton crews because they just aren't going to be able to afford enough staff to adequately cover the bid areas.
I read this blog post today, which in a sad way has a very good point. We're going to have to sit back and watch competitive bidding destroy the entire home care system before the govt realizes, "oh crap, this is a bad idea. Diabetic supplies took a 75% hit!! Are you kidding me? This is why we don't carry diabetic supplies. The bid rate for 50 test strips is around $10.80, our cost for strips is about $18.00. Doesn't take the best economist to realize, uh I don't think we can afford that.
I think the majority of DME companies are in the business to help people. Of course, being a mom and pop company our self, I tend to route for the little guy. With these rates, there aren't going to be many little guys left. And you know what.........that sucks! I love this job, I love the difference we get to make, but the politics overshadows all the good things. I'm digging deep to focus on all the good things, but I also can't be naive to what is happening to the industry. Were sticking it out and hoping that by the time these rates are to be applied nationwide (2016) the program will change. It's got to. There's just no way to give these patients the care they need for the pennies they want to pay. I'm all for cutting costs, but goodness, we can't do what we do for free.
For now, it is what it is. We'll all hope and pray for the best.
Did you see that I went from like 8th in the challenge to something like 15th! I can't believe I gained 3 lbs back!! I've got to get to 165 this year. We're planning on riding our bikes a lot over spring break so I'm hoping that will do the trick.
The weather is gorgeous! I saw a few of you walking at lunch today. I'm not sure which dr.'s office it was but you guys were walking towards the Pinetop Safeway. OSSM job!!!!
I'll be in Phoenix for the next two days then have to come back for little league tryouts on Saturday. It's supposed to be a beautiful weekend which is something we're not used to when it comes to baseball tryouts. Usually were stuck practicing in the gym. Looking forward to getting some good sun!!
Anyone gonna watch the fights this weekend? Anyone want to bet against St. Pierre? Looking forward to seeing Diaz get his butt kicked.
Well it's getting late and I still have to pack before we leave in the morning. Hope you all have a great day.
God Bless!
I read this blog post today, which in a sad way has a very good point. We're going to have to sit back and watch competitive bidding destroy the entire home care system before the govt realizes, "oh crap, this is a bad idea. Diabetic supplies took a 75% hit!! Are you kidding me? This is why we don't carry diabetic supplies. The bid rate for 50 test strips is around $10.80, our cost for strips is about $18.00. Doesn't take the best economist to realize, uh I don't think we can afford that.
I think the majority of DME companies are in the business to help people. Of course, being a mom and pop company our self, I tend to route for the little guy. With these rates, there aren't going to be many little guys left. And you know what.........that sucks! I love this job, I love the difference we get to make, but the politics overshadows all the good things. I'm digging deep to focus on all the good things, but I also can't be naive to what is happening to the industry. Were sticking it out and hoping that by the time these rates are to be applied nationwide (2016) the program will change. It's got to. There's just no way to give these patients the care they need for the pennies they want to pay. I'm all for cutting costs, but goodness, we can't do what we do for free.
For now, it is what it is. We'll all hope and pray for the best.
Did you see that I went from like 8th in the challenge to something like 15th! I can't believe I gained 3 lbs back!! I've got to get to 165 this year. We're planning on riding our bikes a lot over spring break so I'm hoping that will do the trick.
The weather is gorgeous! I saw a few of you walking at lunch today. I'm not sure which dr.'s office it was but you guys were walking towards the Pinetop Safeway. OSSM job!!!!
I'll be in Phoenix for the next two days then have to come back for little league tryouts on Saturday. It's supposed to be a beautiful weekend which is something we're not used to when it comes to baseball tryouts. Usually were stuck practicing in the gym. Looking forward to getting some good sun!!
Anyone gonna watch the fights this weekend? Anyone want to bet against St. Pierre? Looking forward to seeing Diaz get his butt kicked.
Well it's getting late and I still have to pack before we leave in the morning. Hope you all have a great day.
God Bless!
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
All of us grow up in particular realities - a home, family, a clan, a small town, a neighborhood. Depending upon how we're brought up, we are either deeply aware of the particular reading of reality into which we are born, or we are peripherally aware of it.
Chaim Potok
I posted that just to confuse the hell out of you. I figure, If I read it every day, maybe one day I'll actually make sense of it. I've tried reading one of his books............holy crap!!! I don't want to have to think that hard.
Chaim Potok
I posted that just to confuse the hell out of you. I figure, If I read it every day, maybe one day I'll actually make sense of it. I've tried reading one of his books............holy crap!!! I don't want to have to think that hard.
Married 63 years
I spent most of this morning with a few of our patients over in Eagar. The best part of this job is getting to know your patients and often time their families as well. One gentleman I've gotten to know pretty good over the last few weeks. After we finished dealing with the real reason I was visiting him, we were able to talk a little about his family, his wife, and his past. He and his wife have been married for 63 years. They married when he was 18 and she was 16. Both of them grew up in Eagar and after spending their first two years in Eagar, spent the rest of their working lives in New Mexico. He worked for a natural gas company and I think she stayed home with the kids. In talking to both of them they both agreed that it wasn't always a smooth and easy marriage. They had their challenges just as the rest of us do.
Rewind 24 hours. Just the night before, I was pulling out of the gas station when this young couple was pulling in. They were young, maybe even teenagers and she was sitting as close to him as possible in this old beat up Ford pick up. She was all smiles and they were obviously joking about something.
Once I got on the road, I wondered........what are the challenges this young couple will face? If they aren't married, will they end up married? (yes these are the crazy thoughts I have while I'm driving). I think about it in regards to my own kids. Do you remember that first love, that first break up, then amazingly you find someone new and do it all over again. Are my kids going to go through all the ups and downs that we did?
The patient I mentioned earlier married his first love. He married her and they have remained married for 63 amazing years. I hear these kind of stories from our older patients all the time. Many of these wives waited at home while their husbands were off fighting in World War II. Their stories are just amazing. They committed.
What's the difference today? Will we be able to tell these same stories?
Until recently, I pretty much sucked at marriage. Everything else came first. Kids, job, hobbies, etc. My poor wife has tolerated my sorry butt for longer than anyone should have to. My wife has an unbelievable belief in family. It's something that I'm slowly learning and I sure hope my boys learn it as well. I don't remember where I heard this, but remember when you and your spouse were dating? You studied him/her. You wanted to know their likes and their dislikes. You wanted to know what made them happy. Why do we stop once we're married?
Today's world is not family friendly. TV, internet, none of it is family friendly. Even when I was a kid, we still ate at the dinner table. My brother, sister and I all played school sports, but I still don't remember not eating dinner together. I realize we all have super busy lives and believe me, I include myself in this next statement: shouldn't we all be working harder to put our families first? I think if we really look hard at our busy lives, it wouldn't take much to tweak a few things to make our families more of a priority.
We Americans have strayed so far away from our ideals that things are falling apart all around us and we don't even realize it. Money, job, entertainment, hobbies, have all taken a front row seats while our families sit in the back row.
My wife and I have improved a little on eating at the dinner table together, but we have a long way to go. It's a work in progress and we'll keep working on it.
Ok, I'm rambling again, but bear with me.
I say we ate at the dinner table as kids, but to be honest, we weren't a close family. My mom married my step day (I call him my dad) when I was three. He had two kids, my sister who is the same age as me and my little brother (who means the world to me, but I've never told him that) who is two years younger than me.
To say that my dad and I weren't close would be an understatement. I was a step kid and believe me, he made sure I knew it. It wasn't until I was in college that we actually started to grow a little closer. Like most moms, my mom is a saint. She's one of the best people I know. Like my grandma (her mom) she is one of the most giving people and the best grandmother my kids could ever ask for.
My mom tolerated a lot when were kids. My dad was far from a model husband or father. He worked hard and provided for us, but as far as some emotional attachment, there was none. While I think my dad loves my mom, back then I think she was a mother to his kids, and she cooked and she cleaned.
I don't say any of this to be disrespectful of my dad. It's just the way it was. He's come a long way in showing his love for both my brother and I and my mom (my sister is a whole other subject).
I mention my family because I wonder............is faith, integrity, honor, character something that is learned or do you just have it? My family never went to church. I was fortunate to end up with some really good friends in high school who turned me on to church. All through high school I went to church on my own. I think the only time my dad has set foot in a church is when he was married and when I was baptized. My mom went to church a few times, but it was never really on a regular basis.
As a kid, I spent a lot of time with my grandma. It was my grandma who taught me about prayer, who taught me about faith. Not in her words but in her actions. She had more faith than anyone I knew.
I honestly don't have a clue as to where I'm going with this. I think certain people are put in our lives to plant those seeds. My grandmother and my mom planted those seeds, it was up to me for something positive to grow out of them.
Plant those seeds in your own kids. Don't rely on your parents to plant those seeds in the minds of your kids. Step up and plant them yourself. Not many guys read this blog (at least I assume they don't) but if you're a dad, step up man! I've mentioned this before, but this past year was the first year I ever prayed in front of my family. I was scared to death, but have faith that you will be lead to do the right thing. If you're a husband, find some quiet time and remember all the reasons you fell for your wife. All those reasons are still there, we all just let life get in the way. I'm not preaching, I've been there. Don't take it for granted. Be thankful for all the little things you have. Did you just tuck in your children? Kneel beside their beds and thank God you have them. Do you have a spouse that puts up with all your crap? Be thankful for that! Most of us will not find better than what we have. Cherish what you have been given.
This is what makes the difference between my patients 63 year marriage and modern marriage. Cherish!! Faith!!! and most of all..........Time!!!
PS: I'm in deep doo doo if my wife reads this cuz she's going to remind me of it daily (which I need)
Rewind 24 hours. Just the night before, I was pulling out of the gas station when this young couple was pulling in. They were young, maybe even teenagers and she was sitting as close to him as possible in this old beat up Ford pick up. She was all smiles and they were obviously joking about something.
Once I got on the road, I wondered........what are the challenges this young couple will face? If they aren't married, will they end up married? (yes these are the crazy thoughts I have while I'm driving). I think about it in regards to my own kids. Do you remember that first love, that first break up, then amazingly you find someone new and do it all over again. Are my kids going to go through all the ups and downs that we did?
The patient I mentioned earlier married his first love. He married her and they have remained married for 63 amazing years. I hear these kind of stories from our older patients all the time. Many of these wives waited at home while their husbands were off fighting in World War II. Their stories are just amazing. They committed.
What's the difference today? Will we be able to tell these same stories?
Until recently, I pretty much sucked at marriage. Everything else came first. Kids, job, hobbies, etc. My poor wife has tolerated my sorry butt for longer than anyone should have to. My wife has an unbelievable belief in family. It's something that I'm slowly learning and I sure hope my boys learn it as well. I don't remember where I heard this, but remember when you and your spouse were dating? You studied him/her. You wanted to know their likes and their dislikes. You wanted to know what made them happy. Why do we stop once we're married?
Today's world is not family friendly. TV, internet, none of it is family friendly. Even when I was a kid, we still ate at the dinner table. My brother, sister and I all played school sports, but I still don't remember not eating dinner together. I realize we all have super busy lives and believe me, I include myself in this next statement: shouldn't we all be working harder to put our families first? I think if we really look hard at our busy lives, it wouldn't take much to tweak a few things to make our families more of a priority.
We Americans have strayed so far away from our ideals that things are falling apart all around us and we don't even realize it. Money, job, entertainment, hobbies, have all taken a front row seats while our families sit in the back row.
My wife and I have improved a little on eating at the dinner table together, but we have a long way to go. It's a work in progress and we'll keep working on it.
Ok, I'm rambling again, but bear with me.
I say we ate at the dinner table as kids, but to be honest, we weren't a close family. My mom married my step day (I call him my dad) when I was three. He had two kids, my sister who is the same age as me and my little brother (who means the world to me, but I've never told him that) who is two years younger than me.
To say that my dad and I weren't close would be an understatement. I was a step kid and believe me, he made sure I knew it. It wasn't until I was in college that we actually started to grow a little closer. Like most moms, my mom is a saint. She's one of the best people I know. Like my grandma (her mom) she is one of the most giving people and the best grandmother my kids could ever ask for.
My mom tolerated a lot when were kids. My dad was far from a model husband or father. He worked hard and provided for us, but as far as some emotional attachment, there was none. While I think my dad loves my mom, back then I think she was a mother to his kids, and she cooked and she cleaned.
I don't say any of this to be disrespectful of my dad. It's just the way it was. He's come a long way in showing his love for both my brother and I and my mom (my sister is a whole other subject).
I mention my family because I wonder............is faith, integrity, honor, character something that is learned or do you just have it? My family never went to church. I was fortunate to end up with some really good friends in high school who turned me on to church. All through high school I went to church on my own. I think the only time my dad has set foot in a church is when he was married and when I was baptized. My mom went to church a few times, but it was never really on a regular basis.
As a kid, I spent a lot of time with my grandma. It was my grandma who taught me about prayer, who taught me about faith. Not in her words but in her actions. She had more faith than anyone I knew.
I honestly don't have a clue as to where I'm going with this. I think certain people are put in our lives to plant those seeds. My grandmother and my mom planted those seeds, it was up to me for something positive to grow out of them.
Plant those seeds in your own kids. Don't rely on your parents to plant those seeds in the minds of your kids. Step up and plant them yourself. Not many guys read this blog (at least I assume they don't) but if you're a dad, step up man! I've mentioned this before, but this past year was the first year I ever prayed in front of my family. I was scared to death, but have faith that you will be lead to do the right thing. If you're a husband, find some quiet time and remember all the reasons you fell for your wife. All those reasons are still there, we all just let life get in the way. I'm not preaching, I've been there. Don't take it for granted. Be thankful for all the little things you have. Did you just tuck in your children? Kneel beside their beds and thank God you have them. Do you have a spouse that puts up with all your crap? Be thankful for that! Most of us will not find better than what we have. Cherish what you have been given.
This is what makes the difference between my patients 63 year marriage and modern marriage. Cherish!! Faith!!! and most of all..........Time!!!
PS: I'm in deep doo doo if my wife reads this cuz she's going to remind me of it daily (which I need)
Before and Afters............Very Impressive
Awesome Before and After weight loss photos
http://www.shape.com/weight-loss/success-stories/jaw-dropping-and-after-weight-loss-photos
http://www.shape.com/weight-loss/success-stories/jaw-dropping-and-after-weight-loss-photos
Get Organized.
Good Article. I know it's already March, but it's never too late to start.
http://www.inc.com/kevin-daum/5-ways-to-prepare-for-an-amazing-2013.html?nav=pop
http://www.inc.com/kevin-daum/5-ways-to-prepare-for-an-amazing-2013.html?nav=pop
Real Quick
I don't have much time to write, but will post later today. Someday Skinny......Cmon chic!! Let's pick it up a little!!! Let's see 14%!!! I was over in Eagar today, the weather was gorgeous, get outside and enjoy it!!!
Chubby143, where's the rest of your team? You and Sizzlean best get after your team mates!!
I hear Scalecrusher is planning on sending in some good numbers soon.
By the way, the last day of the challenge is April 8th. One month to go people!!! The weather is looking great, so get your bodies outside. You hospital folks, I'm thinking a walk to Show Low Lake should be planned. C'mon!! What better way to spend a lunch break! Get out of that stuffy place!
Leaving early today to go play catch with my son. Baseball tryouts this weekend and we've only thrown the ball about a half dozen times.
Real quick, anyone want a free month of mydietitian.com? First two people to email me, saying whatever you want to say, I'll cover the cost of the first month. Dude, that's a $70.00 deal!!!!
Chubby143, where's the rest of your team? You and Sizzlean best get after your team mates!!
I hear Scalecrusher is planning on sending in some good numbers soon.
By the way, the last day of the challenge is April 8th. One month to go people!!! The weather is looking great, so get your bodies outside. You hospital folks, I'm thinking a walk to Show Low Lake should be planned. C'mon!! What better way to spend a lunch break! Get out of that stuffy place!
Leaving early today to go play catch with my son. Baseball tryouts this weekend and we've only thrown the ball about a half dozen times.
Real quick, anyone want a free month of mydietitian.com? First two people to email me, saying whatever you want to say, I'll cover the cost of the first month. Dude, that's a $70.00 deal!!!!
Monday, March 11, 2013
Sunday, March 10, 2013
Will Power
Ugh, Last week was one of the longest weeks I've had in long time. The whole thing is pretty much a blur and I'm praying that weeks like last week don't happen very often.
My diet went to crap, work was hectic and stressful, and several new employees just seem to take it's toll. One night I even fell asleep on the floor in front of the fireplace.
I'm learning the hard way that my body does so much better on just fruits and veggies. My brain however wants bread and sweets. It's a nonstop battle between what I want to eat and what I should eat. It should be a no-brainer but it isn't.
Honestly, I'm exhausted. There just isn't enough time in the day to get everything done and I feel like I'm failing on every front. From getting things done at work to spending time with my family, and making quiet time with God..............I feel like I'm just barely keeping my head above water as far as time goes.
I realize it's a priority thing and again, I just feel like I'm struggling to even do the smallest of things effectively.
Have I mentioned that I'm working on my elite training certificate? I think I did, but if not, it's three on line courses consisting of a certified trainer course, a nutrition course and an exercise therapy course. I started the courses about a month ago, I've started reading the material, but I've yet to take one quiz. Needless to say, I'm already behind. On top of all this, little league starts next weekend. How in the world am I going to squeeze in practices every evening for 3 weeks? This is the first year that I'm actually having to talk myself into coaching. I am by far not going to win any coach of the year award, but I just don't like any of the other options as far as someone else coaching Coby this year. He loves the game and he's pretty good at it and I just don't want anyone else but his dad ruining that:) .
I mentioned how bad last week was and I'm hoping this next week will be better. I found a little comfort in one of the books I'm reading (to my wife's dismay, I read several books at once and they are frequently all over the house). The book is called "Willpower; Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength" by Roy F. Baumeister and John Tierney.
I'm not finished with it yet, but the one thing I found interesting is that Willpower is not a finite entity. At least as far as it's strength is concerned. If you have tried dieting, you well know that you can exhaust your Willpower. And when I say exhaust, that's exactly what I mean. When you are struggling daily with commitments, goals, etc, it can literally just wear you out.
They've done studies that show when people struggle with things like dieting, quitting smoking, etc, they actually do worse on mental exams. Do you ever realize that when your tired it's harder to stick to your diet? I sure do. If I've had a long day at work, when I walk through the door, I just want something, anything to eat. I'm often too tired to care what it is. I know I'll regret it later, but I usually eat the sweetest thing in the pantry.
And speaking of diet, here's another kicker.........when your body is low on sugar (glucose) your willpower is weakened as well. This doesn't exactly mean that the Oreo cookies in the cupboard are going to help your willpower (though in short bursts they will), but you don't exactly want to stay "hungry" when your dieting. The too biggest factors of maintaining willpower................calories (quality) and sleep. So there ya go, sleep well and eat a salad:) and you're good to go.
I write that as I sit here yawning. I just can't seem to get enough rest. I am constantly tired and lately it's getting frustrating. I'm hoping Spring Break with be the key to a little rest. Only 2 weeks to go!!!
Like I said, I'm not done with the book yet, actually I'm only half way through, but it does mention keeping lists and goals (not 10 goals at once) to help you stay focused. Precise goals, meaning don't only write the goal, but also a plan of how your going to reach it. It's got to be detailed. If you goal is to lose 20 pounds, your plan can't be "eat better". Because eating better can mean "hey I'll only eat 2 cheeseburgers instead of my usual 4". Write down the details. What are you going to eat for breakfast? A snack? How are you going to deal with the temptations? Have a full out, drawn out plan. And who cares if you have failed and started again, and failed again. Does it really matter? Just start again. We all drop the ball, if you're like me, dropping the ball is almost habitual. Just focus on the goal. Focus on how reaching that goal will make you feel. Think of that feeling as you draw out your plan. Write it out today and start tomorrow. Commit to the plan. Rewrite the plan as needed, but commit to doing it.
note: I just re-read what I wrote.......my college English professor would have a fit at how much I ramble!!!
My diet went to crap, work was hectic and stressful, and several new employees just seem to take it's toll. One night I even fell asleep on the floor in front of the fireplace.
I'm learning the hard way that my body does so much better on just fruits and veggies. My brain however wants bread and sweets. It's a nonstop battle between what I want to eat and what I should eat. It should be a no-brainer but it isn't.
Honestly, I'm exhausted. There just isn't enough time in the day to get everything done and I feel like I'm failing on every front. From getting things done at work to spending time with my family, and making quiet time with God..............I feel like I'm just barely keeping my head above water as far as time goes.
I realize it's a priority thing and again, I just feel like I'm struggling to even do the smallest of things effectively.
Have I mentioned that I'm working on my elite training certificate? I think I did, but if not, it's three on line courses consisting of a certified trainer course, a nutrition course and an exercise therapy course. I started the courses about a month ago, I've started reading the material, but I've yet to take one quiz. Needless to say, I'm already behind. On top of all this, little league starts next weekend. How in the world am I going to squeeze in practices every evening for 3 weeks? This is the first year that I'm actually having to talk myself into coaching. I am by far not going to win any coach of the year award, but I just don't like any of the other options as far as someone else coaching Coby this year. He loves the game and he's pretty good at it and I just don't want anyone else but his dad ruining that:) .
I mentioned how bad last week was and I'm hoping this next week will be better. I found a little comfort in one of the books I'm reading (to my wife's dismay, I read several books at once and they are frequently all over the house). The book is called "Willpower; Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength" by Roy F. Baumeister and John Tierney.
I'm not finished with it yet, but the one thing I found interesting is that Willpower is not a finite entity. At least as far as it's strength is concerned. If you have tried dieting, you well know that you can exhaust your Willpower. And when I say exhaust, that's exactly what I mean. When you are struggling daily with commitments, goals, etc, it can literally just wear you out.
They've done studies that show when people struggle with things like dieting, quitting smoking, etc, they actually do worse on mental exams. Do you ever realize that when your tired it's harder to stick to your diet? I sure do. If I've had a long day at work, when I walk through the door, I just want something, anything to eat. I'm often too tired to care what it is. I know I'll regret it later, but I usually eat the sweetest thing in the pantry.
And speaking of diet, here's another kicker.........when your body is low on sugar (glucose) your willpower is weakened as well. This doesn't exactly mean that the Oreo cookies in the cupboard are going to help your willpower (though in short bursts they will), but you don't exactly want to stay "hungry" when your dieting. The too biggest factors of maintaining willpower................calories (quality) and sleep. So there ya go, sleep well and eat a salad:) and you're good to go.
I write that as I sit here yawning. I just can't seem to get enough rest. I am constantly tired and lately it's getting frustrating. I'm hoping Spring Break with be the key to a little rest. Only 2 weeks to go!!!
Like I said, I'm not done with the book yet, actually I'm only half way through, but it does mention keeping lists and goals (not 10 goals at once) to help you stay focused. Precise goals, meaning don't only write the goal, but also a plan of how your going to reach it. It's got to be detailed. If you goal is to lose 20 pounds, your plan can't be "eat better". Because eating better can mean "hey I'll only eat 2 cheeseburgers instead of my usual 4". Write down the details. What are you going to eat for breakfast? A snack? How are you going to deal with the temptations? Have a full out, drawn out plan. And who cares if you have failed and started again, and failed again. Does it really matter? Just start again. We all drop the ball, if you're like me, dropping the ball is almost habitual. Just focus on the goal. Focus on how reaching that goal will make you feel. Think of that feeling as you draw out your plan. Write it out today and start tomorrow. Commit to the plan. Rewrite the plan as needed, but commit to doing it.
note: I just re-read what I wrote.......my college English professor would have a fit at how much I ramble!!!
Thursday, March 7, 2013
Discombobulated
Discombobulated: To throw into a state of confusion.
This is how I have felt over the last few days. Not sure why but I do and I don't like it. I like to feel focused and I like to feel like I'm getting things done. I feel far from both.
I was sick yesterday with some sort of bug and today didn't feel great either.
At the end of the day on Tuesday, I was at my wits end with Medicare. I was so frustrated that I came home and wrote a 5 page letter to Medicare, John McCain, Paul Gosar, Jeff Flake, and HHS Secretary Kathleen Sebelius.
I'm so unbelievably sick of their pathetic audits, their pathetic requests for documentation, and their pathetic excuses for not wanting to pay.
I'll post the letter when I'm finished, but here's a sample of what happened on Tuesday. Because of wonderful HIPPA laws, I'll use a pretend name, let's call her Mrs. Smith.
We received a request from the hospital to provide Mrs. Smith with a CPM machine. CPM stands for Continuous Passive Motion, these machines are put on patients after a total knee surgery. It flexes and extends the leg so that the patients knee can regain motion lost from surgery.
We have a copy of the Post Operative Orders (aka the prescription) before we leave the machine with the patient. Insurance companies (ie Medicare) will typically pay for 21 days rental of the machine. This 21 days starts when the machine is left with the patient. We cannot bill the insurance company while the machine is used inside of a facility. So, if the patient stays 2 days in the hospital, then instead of going home from the hospital, lets say they go to a rehab center like Sierra Blanca for 2 weeks, we are unable to bill Medicare for those days. So now the patient has had the machine for 16 days. 21 minus 16 means we can bill Medicare for 5 days. 5 days for a machine they had for 21.
When we bill Medicare it is understood that we have all the required documentation on hand before the billing is sent (and we did). Medicare denied the claim. Now a staff member has to do all the paperwork to submit a "reconsideration request" to medicare. With this request we send the required documents: the Post Op order (aka the prescription), the delivery sheet signed by the patient, and a pick up sheet (again signed by the patient). Typically this is the documentation required for this type of product.
No Fraud, just a legitimate delivery by a legitimate company, because we had a legitimate prescription, because the patient had a legitimate surgery.
They deny it again. Now they want all doctors and nurses notes from the Operation. Really??!!! Are you kidding me??
They may be making an effort to combat fraud, but they're also screwing honest companies in the process. The poor little lady that we delivered the machine to is scared to death that she is going to get the bill (she won't).
This has pretty much become the norm for trying to collect from Medicare. I don't mind the cuts, I'm sure we'll all survive on a little less, but these pathetic excuses not to pay at all are becoming outrageous.
Last year I had to send 30 pages of documentation to justify billing for a power wheelchair that I had delivered 2 years earlier. The patient is a quadriplegic!!! They have the patients diagnosis on record. I even billed less then what I was allowed to bill for. I'm not looking to get rich, but this is why DME companies are closing all over the country.
Wanna know when things got bad.......................remember the news article I posted about the Scooter Store being raided, well that's just a tip of the ice berg. These mail order companies that you see on TV, well they send out product every month (whether it is catheter supplies, cpap supplies, etc) to the patient whether they need it or not, then of course bill Medicare for it. It's a fleecing of the system and we're all paying for it.
So that's been my frustration for the week. I don't see and end to the Medicare frustration, but if I give in or give up then they win and I just can't do that.
If I have time later, I'm going to post something about Competitive Bidding. This is a program that the Medicare sees as a success, but I'll show you just one example that proves it's flawed big time. An example that I'm sure is happening all over the country.
This is how I have felt over the last few days. Not sure why but I do and I don't like it. I like to feel focused and I like to feel like I'm getting things done. I feel far from both.
I was sick yesterday with some sort of bug and today didn't feel great either.
At the end of the day on Tuesday, I was at my wits end with Medicare. I was so frustrated that I came home and wrote a 5 page letter to Medicare, John McCain, Paul Gosar, Jeff Flake, and HHS Secretary Kathleen Sebelius.
I'm so unbelievably sick of their pathetic audits, their pathetic requests for documentation, and their pathetic excuses for not wanting to pay.
I'll post the letter when I'm finished, but here's a sample of what happened on Tuesday. Because of wonderful HIPPA laws, I'll use a pretend name, let's call her Mrs. Smith.
We received a request from the hospital to provide Mrs. Smith with a CPM machine. CPM stands for Continuous Passive Motion, these machines are put on patients after a total knee surgery. It flexes and extends the leg so that the patients knee can regain motion lost from surgery.
We have a copy of the Post Operative Orders (aka the prescription) before we leave the machine with the patient. Insurance companies (ie Medicare) will typically pay for 21 days rental of the machine. This 21 days starts when the machine is left with the patient. We cannot bill the insurance company while the machine is used inside of a facility. So, if the patient stays 2 days in the hospital, then instead of going home from the hospital, lets say they go to a rehab center like Sierra Blanca for 2 weeks, we are unable to bill Medicare for those days. So now the patient has had the machine for 16 days. 21 minus 16 means we can bill Medicare for 5 days. 5 days for a machine they had for 21.
When we bill Medicare it is understood that we have all the required documentation on hand before the billing is sent (and we did). Medicare denied the claim. Now a staff member has to do all the paperwork to submit a "reconsideration request" to medicare. With this request we send the required documents: the Post Op order (aka the prescription), the delivery sheet signed by the patient, and a pick up sheet (again signed by the patient). Typically this is the documentation required for this type of product.
No Fraud, just a legitimate delivery by a legitimate company, because we had a legitimate prescription, because the patient had a legitimate surgery.
They deny it again. Now they want all doctors and nurses notes from the Operation. Really??!!! Are you kidding me??
They may be making an effort to combat fraud, but they're also screwing honest companies in the process. The poor little lady that we delivered the machine to is scared to death that she is going to get the bill (she won't).
This has pretty much become the norm for trying to collect from Medicare. I don't mind the cuts, I'm sure we'll all survive on a little less, but these pathetic excuses not to pay at all are becoming outrageous.
Last year I had to send 30 pages of documentation to justify billing for a power wheelchair that I had delivered 2 years earlier. The patient is a quadriplegic!!! They have the patients diagnosis on record. I even billed less then what I was allowed to bill for. I'm not looking to get rich, but this is why DME companies are closing all over the country.
Wanna know when things got bad.......................remember the news article I posted about the Scooter Store being raided, well that's just a tip of the ice berg. These mail order companies that you see on TV, well they send out product every month (whether it is catheter supplies, cpap supplies, etc) to the patient whether they need it or not, then of course bill Medicare for it. It's a fleecing of the system and we're all paying for it.
So that's been my frustration for the week. I don't see and end to the Medicare frustration, but if I give in or give up then they win and I just can't do that.
If I have time later, I'm going to post something about Competitive Bidding. This is a program that the Medicare sees as a success, but I'll show you just one example that proves it's flawed big time. An example that I'm sure is happening all over the country.
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
More about John
Yesterday I had posted my "version" of Johns dream. I knew I wouldn't get the entire thing correct but could only post how I remember it told to me.
Having permission from John to write about it, I shared it with him. Last night he sent me a more detailed version of the dream. I share this because I believe in the story. I believe in something (Someone) so much bigger and powerful then all of what we experience around us. I grew up going to church, but I never really knew what it meant to put my Faith in Him to give my life to Him. I've taken a rough road to get to where I'm at, definitely not the straightest nor the easiest. I'm blessed with an amazing wife, amazing kids, and some of the best friends I could ever ask for. None of that was complete though (I didn't realize this until recently) until I had God in my life. Family, friends, work, relationships, all have so much more meaning now. We are all put here for a purpose. A purpose that only each of us can define for ourselves but only with the help of Someone greater. I hold John's story close because I believe it. I believe in the power of it and I believe it is real. Here's the email: I have 5 brothers and; 5 sisters, 4 each still living.
Leo is a younger brother
When I saw Leo, I was walking down a hall, he was at the mouth of the hall leaning up against the wall one foot on the wall.
He was not alone, it seemed to me everyone I knew who had died was there, my parents, grandparents, nephews 2 nieces 1and aunts and uncles, I knew who they were just by their actions and the way they approached me!
The faces were like a bright light similar to a candle but very very bright!
They were all at the mouth of the hall, just outside the hall, behind and surrounding them all, I could see lights, bright beautiful lights, white, gold, silver, so bright they did not look natural ,light rays like I have never seen before, and colors I could not describe, like a bright rainbow?
Music beautiful music, I do not know the melody just pleasing comforting music, also coming from outside the end of the hall.
Being in a hall there was only one way to go toward the light and the people waiting to meet me.
There was also no reason to look or do anything else they were all there waiting so I assumed they were waiting for me?
As I got closer Leo stepped out and asked me what I was doing there, I did not have an answer I said I did not know, I told him I wanted to go in, that's when he told me to go back!
I said back where and he told me to turn around and go back down the hall,
So I turned around and looked behind me, I could not see anything but darkness, just a dark hall, so black and so dark I could not even see any walls just darkness.
I turned my head back and said I did not want to go back I wanted to go forward toward the people I knew and the lights.
What I thought he said was "it's not your time, go back"
So I turned around and walked into dark, I did not want to but I knew he gave me no choice, I could not go toward the light. I cannot remember now if that is when I woke up in ICU for the first time in 16 days or more Diane would have to tell you.
I can tell you the last thing I remember is leaving Santa Fe, the hallway, and then the next thing I was looking around a room from a hospital bed and Diane was standing over me smiling!
I spoke to her but she would not answer I did not know I had a trach tube in my throat and could not talk.
Looking back now into the 6th month, it all seems like a dream, the ride, the accident, the hospital
Farmington, ICU, Progressive Care and Rehab.
So many friends, doctors, nurses, tests, nurses aids and of course Family." I'm not sure if we ever know God's real plan. I do believe though that John has a greater purpose and more to do while here in this life. His heart is with God and I have no doubts he will continue moving forward, always making a difference in the life of others. Have a super day. God Bless.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
Having permission from John to write about it, I shared it with him. Last night he sent me a more detailed version of the dream. I share this because I believe in the story. I believe in something (Someone) so much bigger and powerful then all of what we experience around us. I grew up going to church, but I never really knew what it meant to put my Faith in Him to give my life to Him. I've taken a rough road to get to where I'm at, definitely not the straightest nor the easiest. I'm blessed with an amazing wife, amazing kids, and some of the best friends I could ever ask for. None of that was complete though (I didn't realize this until recently) until I had God in my life. Family, friends, work, relationships, all have so much more meaning now. We are all put here for a purpose. A purpose that only each of us can define for ourselves but only with the help of Someone greater. I hold John's story close because I believe it. I believe in the power of it and I believe it is real. Here's the email: I have 5 brothers and; 5 sisters, 4 each still living.
Leo is a younger brother
When I saw Leo, I was walking down a hall, he was at the mouth of the hall leaning up against the wall one foot on the wall.
He was not alone, it seemed to me everyone I knew who had died was there, my parents, grandparents, nephews 2 nieces 1and aunts and uncles, I knew who they were just by their actions and the way they approached me!
The faces were like a bright light similar to a candle but very very bright!
They were all at the mouth of the hall, just outside the hall, behind and surrounding them all, I could see lights, bright beautiful lights, white, gold, silver, so bright they did not look natural ,light rays like I have never seen before, and colors I could not describe, like a bright rainbow?
Music beautiful music, I do not know the melody just pleasing comforting music, also coming from outside the end of the hall.
Being in a hall there was only one way to go toward the light and the people waiting to meet me.
There was also no reason to look or do anything else they were all there waiting so I assumed they were waiting for me?
As I got closer Leo stepped out and asked me what I was doing there, I did not have an answer I said I did not know, I told him I wanted to go in, that's when he told me to go back!
I said back where and he told me to turn around and go back down the hall,
So I turned around and looked behind me, I could not see anything but darkness, just a dark hall, so black and so dark I could not even see any walls just darkness.
I turned my head back and said I did not want to go back I wanted to go forward toward the people I knew and the lights.
What I thought he said was "it's not your time, go back"
So I turned around and walked into dark, I did not want to but I knew he gave me no choice, I could not go toward the light. I cannot remember now if that is when I woke up in ICU for the first time in 16 days or more Diane would have to tell you.
I can tell you the last thing I remember is leaving Santa Fe, the hallway, and then the next thing I was looking around a room from a hospital bed and Diane was standing over me smiling!
I spoke to her but she would not answer I did not know I had a trach tube in my throat and could not talk.
Looking back now into the 6th month, it all seems like a dream, the ride, the accident, the hospital
Farmington, ICU, Progressive Care and Rehab.
So many friends, doctors, nurses, tests, nurses aids and of course Family." I'm not sure if we ever know God's real plan. I do believe though that John has a greater purpose and more to do while here in this life. His heart is with God and I have no doubts he will continue moving forward, always making a difference in the life of others. Have a super day. God Bless.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
Sunday, March 3, 2013
To Save a Life
If you have a teenager, I highly recommend this movie:
To Save a Life.
Excellent movie about a popular kid, stepping up to help those that aren't "so popular". It shows how important a simple "hi" or "how are you today" can make a difference in someones life.
Step out of your shell, out of your comfort zone, talk to someone or help someone a little less fortunate.
To Save a Life.
Excellent movie about a popular kid, stepping up to help those that aren't "so popular". It shows how important a simple "hi" or "how are you today" can make a difference in someones life.
Step out of your shell, out of your comfort zone, talk to someone or help someone a little less fortunate.
Make a difference
Just one question for you all today.............What are you doing to make a difference in the life of someone else today?
Not someone that you know. Someone that you rarely or never talk to. Someone you know who is having a rough time. Can you help make their life a little easier?
Not someone that you know. Someone that you rarely or never talk to. Someone you know who is having a rough time. Can you help make their life a little easier?
John
John McFall is like a father to me. In fact he's my Godfather (I was baptized catholic).
Throughout my life, John has always played an important role in many of the decisions I have made. Growing up I remember telling myself that I would love to me able to make a difference in the lives of as many people as John does. I honestly don't know of one person who is more giving toward others. I'm blessed to have him in my life, as are so many others. I won't go into detail on everything he as ever done for me, but he has given me permission to share something.
Back in September, I was just walking through my door from a weekend trip to Flagstaff, when my cell phone starts to ring. It was Chris (my best friend as well as Johns son) and he sounded horrible. I asked him what was going on and he said "it's dad, he was in a bad motorcycle accident and he's not doing well. He's in the hospital in Farmington, New Mexico". I asked him how bad it was, but he suddenly says "Its hard for me to talk, Ill text it to you"....................I then get the text. "It's bad, scared he might not make it".
After completely losing it in front of my wife, I told her I had to go. I would never forgive myself if something bad happened to John and I didn't at least make the effort to be there. She was so awesome! She helped me packed and even quickly packed me a ton food to eat on the way.
It was a 5 hour drive and I think I got there at about 11:00 that night. As I walked into the hospital and got off the elevator in front of the intensive care unit, I saw the entire family sitting there. They all looked so tired and so scared. Chris was in with John, but Diane (John's wife) quickly got up to give me a hug. I knew she had to be scared to death of losing John. You have to really know John to realize how many lives would change if anything ever happened to him.
About 20 minutes after getting there, Chris came out from ICU. Just like everyone else, he looked exhausted. After giving me a hug and warning me of what I was about to see, he told me I could go in to the room. Being around hospitals for most of my life, I thought I would be ready for anything.
I've seen people on ventilators, I've seen people with chest tubes, central lines, the works. What I haven't seen is someone that I care about with all the above. I can't even describe what I felt.
I can't remember the entire list of fractures, but John had broken every rib on his left side, his scapula, he completely ripped the skin off of his left foot (this would later require grafts), a skull fracture, punctured lung and cardiac contusion. His face was almost unrecognizable. Swollen beyond belief. The worst thing, due to the impact his heart took, was his heart would go in and out of v-tach which would continue we were told for about the next 72-96 hours.
Unbeknownst to me, about 5 hours after I saw John, he would go into cardiac arrest, both times having to be shocked to get his heart to return to a normal rhythm.
Before I go further, I need to share something that will later be a part of the bigger story. John has a million brothers and sisters (can't remember how many, its like 10 or 11). Anyway, a while back, John lost his brother Leo who had battled with various health issues.
Back to the night that John went into cardiac arrest. When the event actually happened I was at my hotel. Diane, his wife had gone back to her hotel to try and get a little rest. When it happened, Chris was at his bedside and quickly called Diane back to the hospital. Months later, after talking to Diane, she told that she prayed the entire way back to the hospital. She prayed to God but she also remembered praying to Leo.
Leo was a big guy, much bigger then John. So she prayed the obvious. "Leo if you see John, kick his butt out of there because we need him down here" (I can't remember the actual prayer as she told me, but that's the jist of it).
Fast forward 3 months. John is home and doing well. His foot is healing and he's going to therapy for his shoulder. He's a changed man. He talks more than he used to, he cherishes life, and he speaks more from the heart. In a weird sort of a way, I feel closer to him now than I ever have.
I was visiting with him and Diane one day after Christmas and he tells me a story of a very vivid dream he had while in the hospital. He can't remember when or where he was at the time, but he thinks it was as he was coming to. Personally, I think it was when they were shocking him back to life (but who the heck am I do decipher anyone's dream:) )
I hope as I write this that I can do the story justice. Over Christmas break, I was reading the book "Proof of Heaven", about a Neurosurgeon's near death experience. In it, he describes people without human form, yet very spiritual in nature. If you get a chance to read it, it's an awesome book.
As John began telling me about his dream, the first thing that sticks out is he says nobody in the dream had physical faces. He could make out who they were from the shapes of their "being", a soft clay like figure, but he saw no actual physical face. He then tells me that he was in this long hallway. He could see a figure at the end of the hallway but couldn't make out who or what it was. He walked toward the figure and it walked towards him. As the figure neared, again it had no physical body but more of a spiritual one. As it got closer he could identify the shape as his brother Leo.
Then the figure spoke......"We aren't ready for you, you have to go back".
Remember Diane's prayer on the way back to the hospital? Now tell me..........isn't that one friggin awesome story!!!!
Believe what you will, I know what I believe.
Throughout my life, John has always played an important role in many of the decisions I have made. Growing up I remember telling myself that I would love to me able to make a difference in the lives of as many people as John does. I honestly don't know of one person who is more giving toward others. I'm blessed to have him in my life, as are so many others. I won't go into detail on everything he as ever done for me, but he has given me permission to share something.
Back in September, I was just walking through my door from a weekend trip to Flagstaff, when my cell phone starts to ring. It was Chris (my best friend as well as Johns son) and he sounded horrible. I asked him what was going on and he said "it's dad, he was in a bad motorcycle accident and he's not doing well. He's in the hospital in Farmington, New Mexico". I asked him how bad it was, but he suddenly says "Its hard for me to talk, Ill text it to you"....................I then get the text. "It's bad, scared he might not make it".
After completely losing it in front of my wife, I told her I had to go. I would never forgive myself if something bad happened to John and I didn't at least make the effort to be there. She was so awesome! She helped me packed and even quickly packed me a ton food to eat on the way.
It was a 5 hour drive and I think I got there at about 11:00 that night. As I walked into the hospital and got off the elevator in front of the intensive care unit, I saw the entire family sitting there. They all looked so tired and so scared. Chris was in with John, but Diane (John's wife) quickly got up to give me a hug. I knew she had to be scared to death of losing John. You have to really know John to realize how many lives would change if anything ever happened to him.
About 20 minutes after getting there, Chris came out from ICU. Just like everyone else, he looked exhausted. After giving me a hug and warning me of what I was about to see, he told me I could go in to the room. Being around hospitals for most of my life, I thought I would be ready for anything.
I've seen people on ventilators, I've seen people with chest tubes, central lines, the works. What I haven't seen is someone that I care about with all the above. I can't even describe what I felt.
I can't remember the entire list of fractures, but John had broken every rib on his left side, his scapula, he completely ripped the skin off of his left foot (this would later require grafts), a skull fracture, punctured lung and cardiac contusion. His face was almost unrecognizable. Swollen beyond belief. The worst thing, due to the impact his heart took, was his heart would go in and out of v-tach which would continue we were told for about the next 72-96 hours.
Unbeknownst to me, about 5 hours after I saw John, he would go into cardiac arrest, both times having to be shocked to get his heart to return to a normal rhythm.
Before I go further, I need to share something that will later be a part of the bigger story. John has a million brothers and sisters (can't remember how many, its like 10 or 11). Anyway, a while back, John lost his brother Leo who had battled with various health issues.
Back to the night that John went into cardiac arrest. When the event actually happened I was at my hotel. Diane, his wife had gone back to her hotel to try and get a little rest. When it happened, Chris was at his bedside and quickly called Diane back to the hospital. Months later, after talking to Diane, she told that she prayed the entire way back to the hospital. She prayed to God but she also remembered praying to Leo.
Leo was a big guy, much bigger then John. So she prayed the obvious. "Leo if you see John, kick his butt out of there because we need him down here" (I can't remember the actual prayer as she told me, but that's the jist of it).
Fast forward 3 months. John is home and doing well. His foot is healing and he's going to therapy for his shoulder. He's a changed man. He talks more than he used to, he cherishes life, and he speaks more from the heart. In a weird sort of a way, I feel closer to him now than I ever have.
I was visiting with him and Diane one day after Christmas and he tells me a story of a very vivid dream he had while in the hospital. He can't remember when or where he was at the time, but he thinks it was as he was coming to. Personally, I think it was when they were shocking him back to life (but who the heck am I do decipher anyone's dream:) )
I hope as I write this that I can do the story justice. Over Christmas break, I was reading the book "Proof of Heaven", about a Neurosurgeon's near death experience. In it, he describes people without human form, yet very spiritual in nature. If you get a chance to read it, it's an awesome book.
As John began telling me about his dream, the first thing that sticks out is he says nobody in the dream had physical faces. He could make out who they were from the shapes of their "being", a soft clay like figure, but he saw no actual physical face. He then tells me that he was in this long hallway. He could see a figure at the end of the hallway but couldn't make out who or what it was. He walked toward the figure and it walked towards him. As the figure neared, again it had no physical body but more of a spiritual one. As it got closer he could identify the shape as his brother Leo.
Then the figure spoke......"We aren't ready for you, you have to go back".
Remember Diane's prayer on the way back to the hospital? Now tell me..........isn't that one friggin awesome story!!!!
Believe what you will, I know what I believe.
Friday, March 1, 2013
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