Wednesday, February 22, 2012

The Dork Bike

Today was day number 2 of riding to work.  Yesterday when I left the house it was a balmy 27 degrees.  I'm not sure if today was any warmer, but I could at least feel my face when I got to work today. 

I look like a complete dork and I ride what I call the "Dork Bike".  It's a Performance brand bike, it's got a steel frame, and the thing weighs a ton.  About 40lbs compared to my 16lb racing bike it's a bit slower going up hill and it's a single speed so I have no gears.   Oh and from my house to work..........it's mostly up hill and there are times when I could use and extra gear or two.   My wife call's it the FBI bike, (just because it's all black), but it truly is a dork bike.  It's got panniers on the back (big ugly saddle bag looking things) and skinny road tires.  There is nothing remotely cool on this bike.

Then there is the rider. The rider qualifies as a major dork that rides the dork bike.  I don't wear my usual cycling stuff.  If I wore my racing stuff (ya the tights, the spandex, the jersey etc) while riding the dork bike, it would increase my level of dorkness dramatically.  I have to wear a bunch of stuff just to avoid freezing.  So I start layering it.  First on, goes the short sleeve jersey and yes spandex shorts.  Spandex shorts are your crotches way of surviving a bike seat.  Why you ask,  because of the 1/2 inch piece of chamois sewed into the crotch.    Then comes the insulated tights and insulated jersey (long sleeve).   I do wear my racing jacket as it's the warmest I have and it's not all huge and baggy.  The dork part comes when I put on the black sort of jogging looking pants on. This combined with my black shoe covers (these are what keep my toes from freezing off) makes me look like a very out of touch, out of style ninja.  Oh and of course don't forget my little beanie with my helmet.  I am DORK through and through, but I am a warm dork. 

So on the way to work, if you see the big black dork riding his dorkish black bike, give me room people.  If you don't, you can count on one of my hands coming off the handle bars and giving you the chosen finger.  Only you can't tell because my mittens don't allow for one finger gestures.  It's nothing personal, just a reaction. 

The Dork Bike

The coolest thing on this bike is the......................uhhhh..............ok there isn't anything cool on this bike.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

It looks like the witches bike from the wizard of oz....nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh.....nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuhhhh !!!

Pedaldork said...

That is hilarious cuz my wife and I were trying to think of that same tune last night.:).