Let down? or Setting Yourself Up?

I'm at work early today hoping to get things done before everyone gets here.  I walked through the door with a major headache and not a whole lot of motivation.  Mornings like this I could really do without.  I've got my yearly physical this morning and now that I'm officially 40, I can't say I'm really looking forward to it. 

I don't even have a title for this post yet, but will hopefully come up with one by the time I'm finished typing.  In a desperate search to find something to change my major attitude problem this morning, I started looking through my "favorites" on the net and found myself watching Long Boarding videos.  This is one of my favorites, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mXqmRAUsn9U&feature=related.   While it's currently 20 degrees outside, I would love to be flying down a hill with not a care in the world. 

Ok here's my topic for today.  Do we set ourselves up for disappointment when we begin to expect certain things from others?   I bring this up for two reasons.  The first being a good talk I had with one of my guys yesterday, then another conversation I had with my brother last night.  And (I know you don't start a sentence with and) to top it off, I'm married.  That in itself is a comedy act brought upon us by God.  Anyway, is it human nature to expect people to disappoint us?  Do we go through life, sort of setting these little traps, just to see what the outcome will be?   Now, this is an extremely minor example, but one I'll use just to explain my point (and don't laugh at my pathetic example), but say I leave the house for work and leave the dog dishes in the exact spot (and empty).  I get home only to find that all day long the dogs have not been fed or watered.  First, I don't do this because I don't trust that the dogs will be fed or watered and second, I don't want to chance my dogs going all day without water.  I'm just using this example (sort of to protect the innocent:) )  to explain what I'm talking about.  Are we all guilty of "expecting" others to read our minds?  

My brothers complaint was about employees.  He has employees hat have been with him for years yet they continue to fill him with disappointment.  "They should know the job by now" he says.  I completely agree, but as the one who is being disappointed, is it our fault for not communicating better?    Or in my world (and my wife hates this) I call it being selfish.  Are people so selfish that they really don't give a crap what you want or expect?  They live in their own little worlds, not ever giving the cares or expectations of those around them a second thought.  Or maybe it's an issue of respect....I'm not sure.

Another major pet peeve of mine (and others I know), texting...............If you send someone a text, meaning you initiated the conversation, and they reply to your text, isn't it just a courtesy to respond, even if it's only with a "k".  Let me know that you received my response, don't just leave me hanging.  Remember, you started the conversation!!   So my childish response to the people that do that to me...........they have been sort of black booked.   Those people that really suck at returning a text (when they are the ones that initiated it) now don't even get a response from me. 

Back to the original discussion............is it selfishness?  Does everyone just consistently put their needs or their feelings first only to leave others around them disappointed, hurt, or even lonely?   I never really thought about this very much until the conversations I've had over the last few days.   I'm not only referring to spousal issues, but look around.........you see or hear it all the time.  People always complaining......he's not doing this, or she's not doing this, if he would just do his job.....etc. 

It's a hard question to answer because you could play devils advocate in either position.  Back to the dog food example.  The other person could say, "well you feed the dogs every day so I just assume you're going to do it".  Or on the flip side I could say, "the dishes are empty, does anyone else not even notice the empty dishes". 

Nobody is right or wrong.  I think it comes down to communication.  I think you will find that the most efficient work places, the most successful marriages, the best friendships, are those with great communication.  Mind you, the best communication is worthless without action.  Talk all you want, but if things don't progress positively, you're pissing in the wind. 

I think one of the coolest things in the world is the ability to count on someone.  You know, come hell or high water, there are those special people out there that will always rise to the occasion.  I hope everyone out there has one or two of these kind of people in their lives.  Makes all the difference in the world. 

I have no good answers.  I think it comes down to digging deep inside ourselves and putting others before us.  We live in a major selfish society.  Everybody wants something.  We take and take, and rarely give.  Even if it's just a listening ear, put yourself second.  I think that is what is expected of us.