Sometimes being a dad can be a real bummer of a job. Today was parent-teacher conferences. I had to work, but my wife went to both of them (she's much better at these things than I am). My 10 year old, is doing fine, at least as far as school is concerned. Sometimes he can be a little too much laid back and carefree, but as far as grades are concerned, he's typically a straight A kid.
So is my 13 year old.................well he used to be. 8th grade has proven to be much more difficult then he was expecting. Both of my older boys go to Mountain Christian School which is located over across from Show Low Lake. You may have your own opinion about private schools, but it's a choice we've made to send them there and so far we have no regrets what so ever. (and to quickly squish the "only rich kids can afford to go to private schools" opinion) The majority of students at the school (including mine) can go because of Arizona Tuition Tax credit. If you're frustrated with the public school system, I would highly recommend looking into it. There are kids from every denomination there as well, so don't let that hold you back, Mormon, Catholic, Baptist, etc, they're all a part of a great little school.
Anyway, back to my 13 year old. For those of you that have already been through the teenage years with your kids, I'm sure this is old news for you and I'm sure you will have your own opinions on how to deal with them. I've always wanted my boys to show leadership when it comes to decision making and right now, Ryan (my 13yo) doesn't seem to be showing much leadership. He's got a C in two classes (I don't expect straight A's but I do expect effort). From the sounds of it, he's being more of a follower in class than a leader. So like every modern day parent, we decided to ground him from his X-Box.
Do you ever remember being grounded from the Atari? Heck no, because we rarely played them. We played outside. My grades didn't suck as a kid because I was playing video games, they sucked because I would rather be outside riding my bike then indoors doing homework.
I walked into my sons room this morning and I thought to myself.....my parents never would have allowed my room to look like this. For one, there's a tv in there, that definitely wasn't happening when I was a kid. We had 2 tv's, one in the living room and one in my parents room, not in our wildest dreams did we ever have a tv in our bedrooms. Growing up, we had one clothes hamper and that's where the dirty clothes were, not on our bedroom floor. We made our beds before school, not once on the weekends. I could go on and on, but all I'm doing is making myself look like a poor example of a parent.
My kids are for the most part, really good kids. Ryan has one of the biggest hearts I've ever seen. He's great with the elderly and is always looking to help out a neighbor. I guess as a dad, I just want to see more responsibility. I know my boys are capable of more and I know that it's my responsibility to teach it to them.
I'm sure I've whined and cried about the way I was brought up. My brother and I had to work in my dad's garage every Saturday morning from the time we were little (and no I'm not saying we had to walk there both ways up hill in the snow). Of course, now that I'm older I appreciate the work ethic my dad taught me, but there are a million things I would have changed as well. I would have loved to have a dad that I could have talked to, a dad that let me know that losing was ok, a dad who was open minded, needless to say, my dad and I weren't close. I don't want that kind of distance between me and my boys. I want to play a big role in their lives but I want to do it right (of course I'm assuming most dad's want the same).
I want to teach them responsibility and respect, but I also don't want them to feel alienated from me. I've got a lot of work to do on becoming a better dad as well as a better husband (another subject for another time). I've got to start spending more quality time with my boys.
I see it happen to parents and their kids all the time. Once they hit their teenage years, they start hanging with their friends more and more and with their parents less and less. I know the friend thing is inevitable, but I'm going to do what I can to grow my relationship with them. More talks, more alone time, more listening.
Back to Ryan................He went to bed early tonight and watching him sleep just makes me want to improves on our time together. Like I said; he's a great kid but I think he needs more dad time. So for now, no X-Box but more dad time. We'll see if that helps bring the grades up.
No comments:
Post a Comment