I'm sore from a weeks worth of good workouts. My diet was great until this evening when we decide to splurge on pizza. I'm learning that I really do feel better with just the fruits and vegetables. Not only do I feel bad emotionally for straying from my goals, the pizza just seemed to make me feel like crap. I will have no problem going back to my diet tomorrow.
I weighed in again at 175. I won't lie, I'm very frustrated with the fact that I haven't hit 170 yet. Heck I haven't hit 173 yet! I have a couple of reasons in my head as to why, even though I've done very well with my diet, I haven't lost any weight this past week. 1st is the lack of cardio work that I haven't done. I've been hitting the weights like crazy, but the cardio has sort of taken a back seat. And 2nd, calories really do count. I can eat salads and fruits all day long, but I also have to remind myself that the dozens of mints, lifesavers,etc that I throw in my mouth everyday start to add up.
Minus how I felt after eating the pizza this evening (does it count that it was a veggie), I feel really good. I've got a long way to go, but I feel better then I have felt in a long time.
Anyway, this post wasn't supposed to be about my diet and workout. It's about the reason I'm sitting here typing this on my phone at 1:20 am in the morning.
Worry. I'm so friggin sick of the word "worry". It serves no dang benefit to any of us. This is how it starts:
I awaken, maybe because I hear one of our stupid cats outside the door, or I hear the dogs barking. On a normal night, I just go back to sleep; but on rare nights like this, one thought leads to a million others. First I think, "did I create that invoice that I promised to send the patient", then it proceeds to build, "how am I going to arrange the on call schedule so that it works for everyone", then "did I run all the reports that our compliance agency is going to want to see", then "I need to create some new education courses for my staff" then, "holy crap, little league starts in a month, I have 3 classes to take, and I still need to get everything else done", then, then, then.
It just continues to build until I say "screw it" then I get up, grab a book, a glass of wine, and hope to God that I go back to sleep soon. I'm on call this weekend so I don't want to start the weekend off already tired.
The Bible says "I tell you not to worry about everyday life" (matt 6:25).
My motto for 2013 has been to "Give it all to HIM". Why then do I stress about things, simple things?
Wanna know why? Because I try to handle them alone!!! That's not what God wants. He's waiting right there to help out, all you have to do is Give IT ALL TO HIM!. It all works out when you do. The stress ends up being a complete waste of time.
Pardon the way I put this, but God knows His shit! You can bust your butt all day long, day in and day out, trying to do it all on your own, and God will sit back and allow you to do it, but until you ask for help, and I mean honest to honest, praying on your knees for help, He's gonna sit back and let you bang your head against the wall.
It's like helping my kids with their homework. Ill let them struggle and stuggle until I know they are at their wits end, then Ill finally help if they ask. If I choose to help before they ask, then they have learned nothing from the task.
As I sit here writing this, I realize that all my initial worries, that lead up to me being awake at this time of morning are all for nothing. The invoice will wait, the on call schedule will be fine, little league isn't here yet, and I have 8 months to finish my classes. The reports I need to finish will be completed.
Although its a daily struggle and I often learn the hard way, I will continue to Give it all to Him and know that all will be fine. I have learned that a even the smallest amount of Faith can make amazing things happen (I've got some great examples that I'll share later).
As I sit here now, I remember about 10 years ago I would be up all night worried about what would later be diagnosed as a hot nodule on my thryoid. It was one of the worst periods of my life (only because at the time nobody knew what was wrong). It would create panic attacks, tachycardia, pounding heart beats, etc, it was miserable.
My point is, I'm sitting here now, and as far as I know, I'm as healthy as can be. I believe we go through times like that so that we can remember to cherish what we have. To hold tightly to the good things, to the blessings we have all around us. We are all blessed with so much yet we so easily forget to be thankful until things go bad.
So as you move forward this Friday, cherish it. Cherish those kids, cherish your job, cherish all that you have.
It's 1:45 now. I'm going to bed:). Have a super day.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
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